Sheldon Cooper Quotes
Penny: Next time I get pulled over for a speeding ticket, here come the waterworks.
Sheldon [running to bathroom]: Here come the waterworks!
Leonard: Aren't you gonna ask?
Penny: What is this, my first day?
Sheldon: Boy, do I have to urinate.
Leonard: If only there were a solution
Sheldon: Seriously. I feel like I've got
a fish tank in my pelvis.
Sheldon: ... now you're going to need a stronger friend named latex.
Mrs. Cooper: Are you having the sex talk with me?
Sheldon: Well someone has to.
Mrs. Cooper: Oh, dear Lord!
Sheldon: Yeah, well... No, don't look at him, he's mad at you right now.
Sheldon: Then why are you doing it?
Mrs. Cooper: Because I'm not perfect, Shelly. And that man's booty is.
I love my mother. Even if she fornicates like a demonic weasel.
Apparently any man is welcome in his house, why not you?
Sheldon: Can you recommend a surface you haven't had coitus on?
Mrs. Cooper: That's not funny. Maybe we should sit at the table.
Mrs. Cooper: Shelly! I'm so glad you're here!
Sheldon: I saw you having naked sex.
I used to live in those genitals. And if someone wants to move into my old room, I should at least get a vote.
Sheldon: Do you have any idea what it's like to see your mother ravaging someone?
Howard: Does a brisket count?
I saw my mommy with a naked man and she was trying to be a mommy again.
Howard: Should we stop holding hands now?
Sheldon: In a minute.
Howard: Okay, good.