No, Gorn, no! That's where I sit.

I don't like the Olive Garden. They treat me like family.

If we're changing topics, I believe I have dibs with the capybara, a rodent the size of a baby hippo.

Wolowitz: You love that spot.
Sheldon: No, I love my mother. My feelings for my spot are much greater. It is the singular location in space around which revolves my entire universe. And now it's yours.

I believe you were about to ask me to choose a cocktail. Fortunately, thanks to computer-savvy alcoholics, there's an app for that.

That was an experiment to determine at what concentration does food start tasting moth-y.

And to think! I was ready to waste the last of my good hemorrhoid cream on you!

Leonard: You put moths in my food!?
Sheldon: For science.

You're far too short to be Darth Vader. You're much more likely to be a turncoat Ewok.

Leonard: You know what happens when you yawn in public...
Sheldon: Everyone will see my oddly shaped uvela.

Raj: Hands off my sister.
Sheldon: Why would I touch her? She's covered in airplane germs.

Sheldon: I assure you I am quite real and I'm having regular intercourse with your daughter.
Mrs. Fowler: What?
Sheldon: Oh yes, we are like wild animals in heat. It's a wonder neither of us has been hurt.

TBBT Quotes

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.