No, Gorn, no! That's where I sit.

I don't like the Olive Garden. They treat me like family.

If we're changing topics, I believe I have dibs with the capybara, a rodent the size of a baby hippo.

Wolowitz: You love that spot.
Sheldon: No, I love my mother. My feelings for my spot are much greater. It is the singular location in space around which revolves my entire universe. And now it's yours.

I believe you were about to ask me to choose a cocktail. Fortunately, thanks to computer-savvy alcoholics, there's an app for that.

That was an experiment to determine at what concentration does food start tasting moth-y.

And to think! I was ready to waste the last of my good hemorrhoid cream on you!

Leonard: You put moths in my food!?
Sheldon: For science.

You're far too short to be Darth Vader. You're much more likely to be a turncoat Ewok.

Leonard: You know what happens when you yawn in public...
Sheldon: Everyone will see my oddly shaped uvela.

Raj: Hands off my sister.
Sheldon: Why would I touch her? She's covered in airplane germs.

Sheldon: I assure you I am quite real and I'm having regular intercourse with your daughter.
Mrs. Fowler: What?
Sheldon: Oh yes, we are like wild animals in heat. It's a wonder neither of us has been hurt.

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: Well that's no reason to cry; one cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid and it makes me sad.