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Bozeman does have a comedy club called the Loony Bin. Please don't forward my mail there.

Wonderful security system if we're attacked by a school of tuna.

I do not have to urinate. I am a master of my own bladder. Drat.

The four of you are three of my closest friends, and one treasured acquaintance.

My new computer came with Windows 7. Windows 7 is much more user-friendly than Windows Vista. I don't like that.

I'm not crazy; my mother had me tested.

Sheldon: You know, the more I think about it, the "mobster sauce" couldn't possibly contain chunks of mobster.
Leonard: And why is that?
Sheldon: It was listed under "Seafood."
Leonard: Maybe they were mobsters who "slept with the fishes."

I disinfected the kitchen and the bathroom, and now I thought I'd learn Finnish.

If outside is so good, why has mankind spent thousands of years trying to perfect inside?

Raj: Come on, let's get a drink.
Sheldon: I don't drink.
Raj: Well I do, and when my wingman is carrying a Green Lantern lantern, I drink a lot.

Sheldon: I'm sorry Raj, I have no desire to salute any article of clothing tonight, much less one that's linked to race riots in the 1940s.
Raj: Race Riots?
Sheldon: The "Zoot Suit Riots?"
Raj: Ohhhh. I always thought that was some sort of after-Christmas sale.

Raj: We'd just see what's what.
Sheldon: That's a semantically null sentence.

Displaying quotes 517 - 528 of 715 in total

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: I recently read that during World War Two, Joseph Stalin had a research program to create supersoldiers by having women impregnated by gorillas.
Howard: What a sick use of science.
Raj: Hey, as long as the baby's healthy.
Amy: I wonder if Stalin considered any other animals.
Leonard: Hippos are the deadliest creature. A half-human, half-hippo soldier would be pretty badass.
Howard: Yes, but when they're hungry-hungry, you can stop them with marbles.
Sheldon: Yeah, the correct animal for interspecies supersolider is koala. You would wind up with an army so cute it couldn't be attacked.

As soon as we get home, I want to have coitus with Amy. Okay, she can't hear.

Sheldon
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