Leonard: Have you considered telling her your feelings?
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.
Leonard: Well let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an incline plane, wrapped helicly around an axis.
Sheldon: Screwed.
Leonard: There you go.

Sheldon: Why on earth are you telling me all this?
Leonard: Sometimes you movements are so lifelike I forget you're not a real boy.

Leonard: Why would you want a glow-in-the-dark ant farm?
Sheldon: They do some of their best work at night.

If we lived in the world where slow moving xenon produced light youd be correct. Also, pigs would fly, my derriere would produce cotton candy, and the Phantom Menace would be a timeless classic.

Leonard: ...and when she died, they ate her.
Sheldon: You don't have to sell me on cats, I'm already a fan!

Amy: I'm curious as to why we're not eating alone.
Sheldon: They can't function without me. I'm the social glue that holds this little group together.

Penny: I hear you broke up with Amy.
Sheldon: Breakup would imply she was my girlfriend. She was a girl who was my friend who is now not my friend.
Penny: Wow, It's like the worst country song ever.

Wolowitz: Women, huh? Can't live with 'em; can't successfully refute their hypotheses.
Sheldon: Amen to that.

Despite their tendency to build Death Stars, I've always been more of an Empire man.

Leonard: Amy is judgmental, sanctimonious, and frankly just obnoxious
Sheldon: So?
Leonard: So we already have you for all that.

Sheldon: One has to navigate a labyrinth of social nonsense before one could be fed here
Amy: Really? I assumed an establishment named Cheesecake Factory would function more efficiently.
Sheldon: It's how they lure you in. I believe it's called, "bait and switch."

Lenny: I though you hate dogs.
Sheldon: A dog-opus can play fetch with eight balls. No one can hate that.

TBBT Quotes

Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them.


(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj