The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSSheldon Cooper Quotes
Amy: Well, you got me something. Here.
Sheldon: Cookies?
Amy: They're your Meemaw's Christmas cookies. I called and got
the recipe.
Sheldon: They're perfect. It tastes like her hugs.
Amy: Merry Christmas, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I can't believe this. You're happy, I'm happy. Well, maybe a holiday that's all about giving isn't so...Get your hand out of that box!
If you pop him, I will vomit.
Raj
Santa: All right, let me see if I've got this straight. A picture of you on my lap is a way to punish your girlfriend for making you celebrate Christmas?
Sheldon: Correct.
Santa: Santa thinks dating you may be punishment enough.
Sheldon: There's an argument for that.
Bernadette: Wow, you really do love her.
Sheldon: I do. Now, let's find the kind of gift that makes her feel small and worthless.
Howard: Well, if you're so smart, you get the bird out.
Raj: No, you're the one who let him in.
Howard: How do you know it wasn't Leonard?
Raj: Come on.
Bernadette: So your evil plot here is to buy your girlfriend a present?
Sheldon: That's right.
At the Christmas tree lot, there was mistletoe, and she kissed me under it in public. Like we were the stars of a Tijuana sex show.
Bernadette: Why'd you turn it off?
Sheldon: Because in the last ten minutes, Santa came to town, kissed Mommy and ran Grandma over with a reindeer. I had a drunk uncle who did all those things. Nobody sings songs about him.
Bernadette: Maybe you'd like it more if you thought of Santa as a superhero and his power is bringing joy to children.
Sheldon: My uncle was accused of that, too. It turned out to be legal in Oklahoma.
Sheldon: Ugh! English pudding. Y-You get yourself all excited for pudding, and here comes a cake with raisins in it. I'm not going.
Amy: You're going.
Sheldon: Why do you hate me?
Amy: I don't hate you. I love you.
Sheldon: Well, you call it love, but it has a lot of raisins in it.
Amy: Wait, She-Hulk's a lawyer?
Howard: Yeah, she works at a law firm in New York.
Sheldon: Yes, but she's the only monster at the firm. Between you, me and the wall,I think she's an affirmative action hire.
Sheldon: You know, speaking of attorneys,if I ever needed a lawyer,I would not hire She-Hulk.
Penny: You know what? That was almost on topic. I'm gonna say, "Good job, Sheldon."
Well, my little Flag-keteers, it looks like the last episode of Fun with Flags is at an end. If I could, I would run each and every one of you viewers up a flagpole and salute you. And if you touched the ground, burn you.
