Sheldon Cooper Quotes
Penny: What's the matter?
Sheldon [confused by Leonard having Leslie in his room]: I don't know what the protocol is here. Do I stay? Do I leave? Do I wait to greet them with a refreshing beverage?
Penny: Gee, Sheldon, you're asking the wrong girl. I'm usually on the other side of the tie.
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Sheldon: Can't we just go to Big Boy? They only have one burger: the Big Boy.
Penny: The Barbecue Burger is like the Big Boy.
Sheldon: Excuse me, in a world that already includes a Big Boy, why would I settle for something that's like a Big Boy?
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Sheldon: I need your help in a matter of semiotics.
Sheldon: Semiotics, the study of signs and symbols as a branch of the philosophy related to linguistics.
Penny: Okay, honey, I know you think you are explaining yourself, but you're really not
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Mary: Now, you listen here. I have being telling you since you were four years old, it's okay to be smarter than everybody but you can't go around pointing it out.
Sheldon: Why not?
Mary: Because people don't like it. You don't remember all the ass kickings you got from the neighbor kids. Now lets get cracking. Shower, shirt, shoes and let's shove off.
Sheldon: There wouldn't have been any ass kickings if that stupid death ray had worked
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Sheldon: This car weighs, let's say, 4,000 pounds. Now add 140 for me, 120 for you...
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I insult you? Is your body mass somehow tied into your self-worth?
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Sheldon: I can't believe he fired me.
Leonard: Well, you did call him a "glorified high school science teacher whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts."
Sheldon: In my defense, I prefaced that with, "with all due respect."
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Sheldon: How was your date?
Sheldon: Score one for liquor and poor judgment
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Sheldon: I have got the Sword of Azeroth!
Leonard: Forget the sword, Sheldon. Help Raj.
Sheldon: There is no more Sheldon. I am the sword master!
Wolowitz: Leonard, look out!
Leonard: Damn it, Sheldon, we're dying here.
Sheldon: Goodbye, peasants.
Leonard: Bastard teleported!
Raj: He's selling the Sword of Azeroth on eBay.
Leonard: You betrayed us for money? Who are you?
Sheldon: I'm a rogue night elf. Don't you people read character descriptions? Wait, wait, wait... somebody just clicked Buy It Now.
Wolowitz: I am the sword master!
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I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble telescope does of discovering at the center of every black hole is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.
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There's always a chance that alcohol and poor judgment on her part may lead to a wonderful evening
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Leonard: No, I'm done with Penny. I'm going to be more realistic and go after someone my own speed.
Raj: Like who?
Leonard: I don't know... Olivia Geiger?
Sheldon: The dietitian at the cafeteria with the limp and lazy eye?
Sheldon: Well, I don't think you have a shot there
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Sheldon: I have noted that Leslie Winkle recently started shaving her legs. Now, given that winter is coming, one can only assume that she's signaling sexual availability.
Wolowitz: I don't know. You guys work in the same lab.
Wolowitz: There are pitfalls. Trust me, I know. When it comes to sexual harassment law, I'm a bit of a self-taught expert.
Leonard: Look Howard, if I were to ask Leslie Winkle out, it would just be for dinner. I'm not going to walk into the lab, ask her to strip naked and dance for me.
Wolowitz: Oh, then you're probably okay
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