Sheldon Cooper Quotes
Sheldon: Looking out at your fresh young faces, I remember when I, too, was deciding my academic future as a lowly graduate student. Of course, I was fourteen. And I had already achieved more than most of you could ever hope to, despite my 9:00 bedtime. Now, there may be one or two of you in this room who has what it takes to succeed in theoretical physics, although it's more likely that you'll spend your scientific careers teaching fifth graders how to make papier-mÃ¢chÃ© volcanoes with baking soda lava.
Leonard: Oh, good God.
Sheldon: In short, anyone who told you that you would someday be able to make some significant contribution to physics, played a cruel trick on youâ€”a cruel trick indeed. Any questions? ... Of course not. I weep for the future of science
- Permalink: 00 bedtime. Now, there may be one or two of you in this room who...
Sheldon: Please, please, I don't have a lot of time. Ramona finally dozed off and I need you to help me get rid of her.
Penny: Get rid of her how?
Sheldon: I don't know, but apparently I'm in some kind of relationship, and you seem to be an expert at ending them.
Penny: Excuse me?
Sheldon: I see man after man leaving this apartment, never to return.
- Permalink: Please, please, I don't have a lot of time. Ramona finally dozed...
Sheldon: How am I going to get to work?
Leonard: Take the bus.
Sheldon: Oh, I can't take the bus anymore. They don't have seatbelts, and they won't
let you lash yourself to the seat with bungee cords.
Leonard: You tried to lash yourself to the seat with bungee cords?
Sheldon: I didn't try; I succeeded.
- Permalink: How am I going to get to work? Take the bus. Oh, I can't tak...
Sheldon: Leonard, have you ever wondered why my little toes and lateral incisors are significantly smaller than the average for someone of my size?
Leonard: I wonder a lot of things about you Sheldon, but not that
- Permalink: Leonard, have you ever wondered why my little toes and lateral i...
Leonard: It wouldn't kill us to meet new people.
Sheldon: For the record, it could kill us to meet new people
- Permalink: It wouldn't kill us to meet new people. For the record, it cou...
Leonard: If we do get a new friend, he should be a guy you can trust. You know, a guy who has your back.
Wolowitz: And he should have a lot of money and live in a cool place down by the beach where we could throw parties.
Sheldon: And he should share our love of technology.
Wolowitz: And he should know a lot of women.
Leonard: Okay, let's see: money, women, technology. Okay, we're agreed. Our new friend is going to be Iron Man
- Permalink: If we do get a new friend, he should be a guy you can trust. You...
Penny: What's AFK?
Sheldon: Away From Keyboard.
Penny: Oh, I see.
Sheldon: What does that stand for?
- Permalink: What's AFK? Away From Keyboard. Oh, I see. What does that ...
Penny: Oh, my God, a treasure chest. I'm rich!
Sheldon: Level 3 and she thinks she's rich, what a noob.
- Permalink: Oh, my God, a treasure chest. I'm rich! Level 3 and she thinks...
Raj [to Leonard]: What about Leslie Winkle?
Sheldon: Oh, no.
Sheldon: Her research methodology is sloppy, she's unjustifiably arrogant about loop quantum gravity, and to make matters worse, she's often mean to me
- Permalink: What about Leslie Winkle? Oh, no. Why? Her research method...