Favorite Stanley Hudson Quotes
Michael: [eating pretzel] It tastes so good in my mouth.
Stanley: That's what she said.
Oscar: So, Pam told me you do a great Stanley impression. I'd love to hear it.
Jim: Oh, um. "Why do you keep CCing me on things that have nothing to do with me?"
Stanley: Is that supposed to be me?
Jim: Oh, hey, Stanley. Uh, I was just doing an impression.
Stanley: I do not think that is funny.
Pam: He does everyone in the office.
Stanley: Hmph. [leaves]
Jim and Pam: "I do not think that is funny."
Michael: [from inside the restroom] Stanley?
Stanley: Can't you see I'm urinating?
Michael: Listen, Listen, Stanley. You don't have to answer me now.
Stanley: No.
Michael: Just... I want you to think about it, I'm starting my own company.
Stanley: No.
Michael: Oh... okay, you're not letting me finish, and you just lost out on a million dollars.
Stanley: No I didn't.
Stanley: Michael don't listen to them.
Michael: Thank you Stanley.
Stanley: You just ignore their carping.
Michael: Okay.
Dwight: Michael.
Michael: Yes.
Dwight: A carp is both a fish and a term for complaining. They're mocking you with wordplay.
Charles: In the last month we have lost ten major clients to Michael Scott.
Stanley: What are we supposed to do? They keep undercutting us on price.
Charles: I don't want to hear excuses. I want to see improvements. This is unacceptable.
Andy: Hey, Boss. Uh, I'd just like to point out that I have been here less time than these guys.
Charles: Why are you telling me this?
Andy: I just think the bar should be lower for a newbie.
Charles: Is this something you really want to have said?
Andy: I don't want to have said that. But I think it's important that you know it.
Oscar: Hey, Pam I've been meaning to say something to you. I really miss our friendship.
Pam: Wow, very funny.
Stanley: I've never heard you talk that much. I thought it was Kelly.
Kelly: Are you kidding? I would have never done that. It was pathetic-ville. No offense, Pam.
Meredith: You know what? Don't even worry about it. Everyone was so drunk, I bet no one even remembers what you said.
Creed: I remember. I blogged the whole thing.
Jim: Ok I thought I saw people missing.
Michael: Yeah. Just focus grouping a product expansion idea to these folks. Got one of each.
Jim: Really. Hey Stanley, what was the last thing Michael said before I came through the door.
Michael: Stanley you don't need to answer that.
Jim: Stanley?
Stanley: If you don't smell this you're fired.
Jim: Ok. Michael, I thought we agreed to not take up people's time with meetings like these.
Michael: What do you mean by "these people"?
I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They always complain. I have varicose veins, too. I have swollen ankles. I'm constantly hungry. Do you think my nipples don't get sore, too? Do you think I don't need to know the fastest way to the hospital?
Michael: We are not always going to be there, to coddle your heart back, when it disappears to be working. What are you going to do when your heart stops?
Stanley: I would die.
Michael: And you're okay with that?
Stanley: I'm okay with the logic of it.
Stanley: Maybe you should go into your office, close the door, and make some calls about jobs?
Michael: I have a job.
Andy: For four more days.
Pam: Do you have any leads on a job?
Michael: Pam, what you don't understand is that at my level you just don't look in the want-ads for a job. You are head-hunted.
Jim: You called any headhunters?
Michael: Any good headhunter knows I am available.
I never heard that song before, and once I heard it I did not care for it, but that song means it's time to go home. Now, it's my favorite song.
My wife got to the tv first. I had to sit through damn Rizzoli and damn Isles.
