I caught two of them trying to eat each other, so that's something we need to watch out for.

Brian save the placenta! Save it, I want to eat it.

Stewie: What kind of feet can fit in these shoes?
Brian: Your feet!

You hit me! What kind of monster hits a pregnant toddler!

Stewie: We could even use my own crib!
Brian: You use your own crib!

We do not judge the machine, we do not judge Stewie.

This is serious Rupert, I'm losing him! I'm going to fix this relationship. We need a baby, and we need it now!

Lois: Oh I'm not doing anything special, just sitting here with the baby.
Stewie: Screw you too.

Did you hear about your ex-husband yet? He's had a procedure.

Quagmire: Where do you get off?!
Stewie: Pretty much everywhere I hear. Fat man's right -- they're making this easy.

Stewie: Which is hugging someone really hard with your legs.
Brian: Nope.
Stewie: Oh, well you'll tell me if I get it right?

Wait, hold on Brian, everyone deserves a proper funeral. Why do you think we're saving that VCR box in the basement?

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

The secret to happiness is burying all your true feelings and living a life of bland compromise.