Stewie Griffin Quotes
Stewie: (while carjacking a man) GET OUT OF THE F**KING CAR! GET OUT OF THE F**KING CAR RIGHT NOW, MAN! (smashes the window)
Driver: (screaming) OH, JESUS!
Stewie: GET OUT OF THE F**KING CAR!
Driver: OH, MY GOD!!!
Stewie: DO IT! GO! DO IT OR I'LL F**KING KILL YOU!!! GET THE F**K OUT OF THE F**KING CAR!
(Brian carries the driver out of the car, then drive off as the driver leaves screaming)
Brian: Did we just carjack someone?
Stewie: We sure did, Brian. We sure did.
- Permalink: GET OUT OF THE F**KING CAR! GET OUT OF THE F**KING CAR RIGHT NOW...
Stewie: Why have you brought me to the toy store Brian?
Brian: I'm buying you another Rupert. (picks up a gorilla) Hey, this one's cute, huh? (reads label) And if we buy it, they save a real gorilla in the wild. And if we don't they kill one, wow, these guys are really playing hardball.
- Permalink: Why have you brought me to the toy store Brian? I'm buying you...
Adam West: Can I help you, gentlemen?
Brian: Follow that truck. (silence) Didn't you hear me? I said, "Follow that truck."
Adam West: Oh, I heard you. What I didn't hear was "please."
Brian and Stewie: (simultaneously) Please follow that truck.
- Permalink: Can I help you, gentlemen? Follow that truck. Didn't you hea...
Brian: I mean, you are getting a little old to have a teddy bear.
Stewie: Brian, I'm one!
- Permalink: I mean, you are getting a little old to have a teddy bear. Bri...
(After Stewie dances, he and Brian are allowed to use a helicopter, which they fly over the mountains)
Stewie:(Over the helicopter's propellers) Brian, be careful cause the mountains are the same color as the sky!
Stewie: I said be careful cause the mountains are the same color as the- WHOA!!!
Brian: What the hell was that?
Stewie: I'm practicing my comedy crash.
Brian: Well keep it down because I'm trying to-
(The helicopter is about to hit a mountain)
Brian & Stewie: WHOA!!!
(They swerve away from the mountain but the tail of their helicopter hits a cliff, causing them to hit a slope and slide down the mountain, they crash into a rock, sail out of the cockpit and hit the snowbank)
Stewie: Imagine the dance I'm gonna have to do to get our security deposit back.
- Permalink: Brian, be careful cause the mountains are the same color as the ...
Stewie: Thanks for the lift, Bandit. Good look tapping that hot... hot... Sally Field tail....
Bandit: Shut up, I don't like it anymore then you do!
- Permalink: Thanks for the lift, Bandit. Good look tapping that hot... hot.....
(Brian and Lois are downstairs awaiting Meg to come down so Brian and Meg can go to the dance)(Stewie and Meg walk down the stairs)Stewie: Here she is, Brian I present to you your polish turd for the evening.Meg: How do I look Brian?Brian: Ahhhhhh.....you sure do Meg.
- Permalink: Ahhhhhh.....you sure do Meg.
Brian: Hello? Oh hey Jillian, what's up?
Jillian: Brian, are you coming over to watch Laguna Beach tonight?
Brian: Uh, what time does it start?
Jillian: Ten o'clock, Eastern and Specific Time.
Brian: What? What did you say? Specific Time? Don't you mean Pacific Time?
Jillian: No I think it's called Specific Time. They mean it starts specifically at 10:00.
Brian: Stewie, are you on the line?
Brian: Jillian, I'll talk to you later.
- Permalink: Hello? Oh hey Jillian, what's up? Brian, are you coming over t...
(About Meg) FYI, the carpet matches the drapes, in color and length.
- Permalink: FYI, the carpet matches the drapes, in color and length.