Katie Couric: You beat out the following losers: the economy, Mel Gibson, Dina Lohan... and Sparky Lohan, who is Dina Lohan's dog and, apparently, also a loser. How do you deal with that?
Sue: I've been drinking a lot of bleach.

No time for a fourtime, ladies. The bus leaves in five.

You don't go in that canon and this routine will be all boom, boom and no pow. And that, Brittany, is so 2008 and... late.

Brittany, here's a note for you. Hand-written and in crayon. From the human canon, saying how much it misses you.

Sue: This level of risk and danger makes me feel alive again.
Figgins: But the risk and danger isn't to you.
Sue: That's the best part.

I try to make a habit of not touching carnie folk. But, fella, I'll take it.

Brittany, please remind me how I single-handedly put cheerleading on the map.

Will: I thought you hated the holidays.
Sue: No, I just hate you.

I thought you might wanna put all of out of our misery and shave off that Chia Pet.

Will: How did you get in here?
Sue: I had a key made ages ago.

For me, the real joy of Christmas was breaking the collective heart of the glee club.

William, Elmo, you. Get the hell out of my office.

Glee Quotes

Rachel: This is what I wanted!
Sam: No, what you wanted was a second chance to get it right and Carmen just gave it to you. If you throw all that away you're going to be making the same mistake all over again

Finn: I seem to recall a rumor about a certain cheerleading coach at this school who once took horse estrogen and posed for Penthouse back in the day. So maybe I can just track that down and make a few copies and sell those to raise money for Regionals.
Sue: That's nothing but a rumor. But if that rumor were true, my Penthouse centerfold so groundbreaking that it completely redefined the term 'hirsute,' and gave birth unto these United States a pose so limber they named it the Regal American Not-So-Bald Spread Eagle, I promise you, my friend, you would never find it.