Sue: We've lost the true meaning of Halloween: fear.

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Children must know fear. Without it, they'll try Frenching grizzly bears or trying to live in Florida.

I realize you're only half orangutan, but I'm still allergic to your lustrous, ginger mane.

Asking someone to believe in a fantasy, no matter how comforting, is cruel.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, and I guess I don't have to. Mary Lou Retton is an orphan or something.

If your students wanna praise God, I suggest they enroll in Sweet Holy Mother of God Academy on St. Jesus Street.

Don't let your own recklessness blind you to the fact that Britney Spears is a genius pop culture provocateur and a gateway drug to every out of control impulse ever created.

You wear more vests than the cast of Blossom.

It's a Britney Spears sex riot!

I'm secretly hoping it's a mid-life crisis, meaning your halfway to an early death.

Oh God, Will, let me break it down for you. High school's a dry run for the rest of your life. Not everyone can be champions; not everyone should be champions. The world needs fry cooks; bus drivers...

The two of you are making a mistake, the likes of which have not been seen since the Mexicans sold Manhattan to George Washington for an upskirt photo of Betsy Ross.

Glee Quotes

Rachel: This is what I wanted!
Sam: No, what you wanted was a second chance to get it right and Carmen just gave it to you. If you throw all that away you're going to be making the same mistake all over again

Finn: I seem to recall a rumor about a certain cheerleading coach at this school who once took horse estrogen and posed for Penthouse back in the day. So maybe I can just track that down and make a few copies and sell those to raise money for Regionals.
Sue: That's nothing but a rumor. But if that rumor were true, my Penthouse centerfold so groundbreaking that it completely redefined the term 'hirsute,' and gave birth unto these United States a pose so limber they named it the Regal American Not-So-Bald Spread Eagle, I promise you, my friend, you would never find it.