Nobody quits the Cheerios. You either die or I kick you off.

I'm gonna make it a habit to not stop and talk to students because this has been a colossal waste of my time.

So you like show tunes. It doesn't mean you're gay. It just means you're awful.

I might buy a small diaper for your chin, because it looks like a baby's ass.

Some people like to film themselves getting physical with their partner. I happen to enjoy revisiting the impeccable form of my jazzercise routines.

I bribed Will Schuester's landlord to bug his apartment with baby monitors under his couch. And in his bedroom.

I never understood how hard it is to get laughed at, especially in slow motion.

What's that smell? It's coffee. It's usually masked by the smell of fear.

Figgins: I cannot have these shenanigans at this school.
Sue: He cannot have these shenanigans at this school!

As soon as I figure out the difference between slander and libel, I'm suing you.

Student: Hey, Ms. Sylvester, let's get physical.
Sue: Not really my type, but I like that attitude.

On assembly days, I arrange for the rest of the school to be fumigated, so the gym is the only place with clean air.

Glee Quotes

Beiste: Dr. Jones said the new end of world date is September 27, 2014
Brittany: That gives us like two whole years of giving love and brutal honesty to everyone we know.

I'm gonna miss all of you. I love you guys.