Nobody quits the Cheerios. You either die or I kick you off.

I'm gonna make it a habit to not stop and talk to students because this has been a colossal waste of my time.

So you like show tunes. It doesn't mean you're gay. It just means you're awful.

I might buy a small diaper for your chin, because it looks like a baby's ass.

Some people like to film themselves getting physical with their partner. I happen to enjoy revisiting the impeccable form of my jazzercise routines.

I bribed Will Schuester's landlord to bug his apartment with baby monitors under his couch. And in his bedroom.

I never understood how hard it is to get laughed at, especially in slow motion.

What's that smell? It's coffee. It's usually masked by the smell of fear.

Figgins: I cannot have these shenanigans at this school.
Sue: He cannot have these shenanigans at this school!

As soon as I figure out the difference between slander and libel, I'm suing you.

Student: Hey, Ms. Sylvester, let's get physical.
Sue: Not really my type, but I like that attitude.

On assembly days, I arrange for the rest of the school to be fumigated, so the gym is the only place with clean air.

Glee Quotes

You know, a great big fat person once stood on this stage and told a group of a dozen or so nerds in hideous disco outfits that glee, by its very definition, is about opening yourself up to joy. Now it's no secret that for a long time I thought that was a load of hooey. As far as I could see the glee club was nothing but a place where a bunch of cowardly losers go to sing their troubles away and delude themselves into thinking that they live in a world that cares one iota about their hopes and dreams, totally divorced from the harsh reality that in the real world there's not much more to hope for than disappointment, heartbreak, and failure. And you know what. I was exactly right. Thats exactly what glee club is. But I was wrong about the cowardly part. What I finally realized, now that I'm well into my late thirties, it takes a lot of bravery to look around you and see the world not as it is but as it should be. A world where the quarterback becomes best friends with the gay kid, and the girl with the big nose ends up on Broadway. Finding the courage to open up your heart and sing about it. That's what glee club is. And for the longest time I thought that was silly, and now I think it's just about the bravest thing that anyone could do.

Sue

[to Finn] You know, I don't really know what's going to happen between us, but I know that you used to be the guy that would make me feel like the most special girl in the whole world, and it doesn't feel that way anymore. Now it just feels sad and confusing. And the worst part is that it doesn't even feel that bad anymore.

Rachel