The Janitor Quotes
Little Janitor: Mommy! Where's my teddy bear?
Janitor's Mom: Oh. I must have accidentally thrown it out when I was cleaning up. You know, this never would have happened if your room weren't so filthy.
Janitor: Never again.
Janitor: Man, I don't wanna clean this up!
Laverne: Well, then, I think you picked the wrong day to be the janitor.
Janitor: Where is that lost & found box?
Randall: Over here, brah.
Elliot: Why does it say "free stuff"?
Janitor: Heh-heh. I have no idea.
Elliot: Janitor, could you help me look for a little girl's pink stuffed doggie?
Janitor: I would love to. I'll meet you upstairs in ten minutes.
Elliot: You are like... the sweetest guy!
Janitor: I'm blushing.
J.D.: Heh. So charming. Could you be half as nice to me as you are to her?
Janitor: You are right. We need a fresh start. Come on.
He holds out his hand to J.D., who shakes the Janitor's hand.
J.D.: Fresh start.
Janitor: Mm-hmm... I think we need a longer fresh start.
J.D.: How long do ya... suppose this'll be?
Janitor: Probably ten minutes.
Elliot: Janitor? Thanks again for your help, but I know that you're busy. I mean, I could just call Carla, and-
Janitor: No! Mark my words: We will find that little girl's stuffed animal.
Custodian: Heeeeyyy! Get outta here.
Janitor: It's all right, Butchie, she's with me.
Dr. Cox is chasing J.D. around the hospital
J.D.'s Narration: Yes! He fell! I'm gonna get away!... You know who I haven't seen today?
The Janitor pokes his head out a doorway clotheslines J.D.
J.D.: Ook! Waaagh!
Janitor: You lookin' for that?
Dr. Cox: Like you read about.
Elliot: Thanks again for helping me look for Carla.
Janitor: No problem. I'll check the dumpster.
Elliot: Ah, we're not looking for dead Carla.
Janitor: That a girl. You stay optimistic.
Janitor: Oh, man. Tell me you're not waiting to use my roof toilet!
Laverne: Well, I would use Dr. Kelso's like I normally do, but I don't wanna wake up Hector.
Janitor: That, my friends, is a roof toilet.
Dr. Casey: I'm sorry, you said that like it's a normal thing.
J.D.: Be careful with this guy, he's uh...
Janitor: Hey! You're the guy that's been using up all my soap!
Dr. Casey: Yeah, I've got OCD.
Janitor: Really!? My grandpa had that. Every morning he'd take a gym sock, fill it up with nickels, and just beat us! That's OCD, right?
J.D.: The bad kind.
Janitor: If I find out you told anybody, I'm gonna beat you with poppy's old nickel sock.
J.D.: First of all, why would I tell anyone? And secondly, no one has epiphanies on the john!
Dr. Casey: Who would use this thing?
Janitor: You kiddin'? Oh, man! Just picture yourself, you're standing out here, in the open air, then you sit down and you take stock of your life. I've had some major epiphanies on this old girl. See, you can't do any soul-searching down there on those germ-infested crappers.
J.D.'s Narration: Damn him. He's right.
