NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSFavorite Tim McGee Quotes
McGee: I've got alerts at the train stations, bus stations, local LEOs up and down the coast as well as any and all hardware shipments, commercial or military. I have hung a net.
Ziva: I do not know who Annette is, or why you are so proud of killing her.
McGee: No, what I mean is, if they make a move, we're gonna know about it.
Palmer: Don't worry. He's as high as a kite.
Troutman (groggy): Wait. I know you.
McGee: Jimmy.
Palmer: Or not.
Troutman: Are there violent chinchilla babies here too?
McGee: They were here.
Troutman: No!
McGee: But we got rid of them.
Troutman: God bless you.
McGee: I got to hand it to your father, Ziva. He has who knows how many guns trained on him right now, and he is completely oblivious.
Ziva: No, he's aware. He is always aware of what he does. Not caring about the consequences is what makes him who he is.
McGee: Look at this. Two ply, double roll, top tuck with a thirty foot vertical climb. This kid has got an arm! Perfect drapage and good trunk to top ratio. It's very impressive.
Ziva: I do not understand the humor or the art.
McGee: It's a cultural thing. Tony would tell you.
McGee: Listen, don't let him "probie" you.
Derniken: What?
McGee: I've been there Dornie. Tony's going to pull rank.
Dorneget: I can handle him.
McGee: Watch your back, Dornie.
(Ziva meets Liat Tuvia, her replacement at Mossad)
Ziva: Liat is one of the most common names in Israel.
Liat: Where only the grandmothers are named Ziva.
McGee: So what brings you to D.C.?
Malachi: The cherry blossoms.
McGee: That's in the spring, actually.
Tony: I'm afraid all we have to offer in November are elections and pardoned turkeys. I really like those boots, Liat. Not speaking too fast for you, am I?
Liat: I understand. You're very, uh... tongue-in-ear.
Ziva: She means tongue-in-cheek.
Tony: Don't put words in the girl's mouth.
McGee: I should have been here when you woke up.
Delilah: You're here now.
McGee: Your family was the Navy.
Admiral McGee: Still is, boy.
Ziva: I'm sorry Tony. I know you wanted the car but I just didn't think it was a good idea to sell it to you.
Tony: Why not?
Ziva: Because I really liked my Mini.
Tony: Me too!
Ziva: And I didn't want anything to happen to it.
Tony: What are you saying?
McGee: She's saying you're a car killer.
Tony: What?
Ziva: A car killer.
Gibbs: Everybody needs a hobby.
Tony: You failed your polygraph! That's not good.
McGee: No, I didn't fail it. They said I have to take it again.
Tony: Why would you have to take it again? Don't ask, don't tell. You didn't make the mistake of coming out, did you?
McGee: I don't have anything to come out about.
Tony: Stick to that story, McQueen.
McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.
Tony: How long?
McGee: Just this once? Okay it's been the whole time. We've been working late. I was weak.
Tony: I don't even know who you are anymore.
McGee: Wait, please, I have another one. Here. Take it. It's yours.
Tony: You can't buy me with your pepperoni. I want steak. Creamed spinach. French fries.
Bishop: Can I get in on this?
McGee: Yes. Absolutely. Steaks all around, my treat. Let's go.
