Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Prime_large
Parks-and-recreation

Leslie: Is this a bad time?
Tom: Lucy's here, I'm in my sexy pajamas. I just took four Benadryls to dull my sensitivity. Yes.
Leslie: You're about to have sex.
Tom: Why else would Boyz II Men's "On Bended Knee" be playing right now.

Tom: We need to do something to distract from this... boring area. Now I didn't want to have to do this but we may have to go nude.
Ann: Goodbye, Tom.

Tom: In a million years, I never thought you'd be the problem with this photo shoot.
Ann: Didn't you just plan this like two hours ago?

Hey, if there's anyone out there that's doing a photo shoot about the dangers of eating undercooked chicken, I can give you Ann's phone number.

Tom: Come on, Ann, what are we doing? Maxim or Good Housekeeping?
Ann: I'm not sure which one is the insult.

The problem is I only have 15 penises, so, there would have been 28 girls who are really upset with me.

I'm reading this, and I'm like, how could they hurt those gorillas like that? They're such gentle, magnificent creatures. You know, I'm an animal lover, I don't know.

Ladies. Is there anything you desire at all? Besides me?

Call me a romantic, but I believe by the end of the night I will have between one and four new girlfriends.

Tom: Do not miss tonight's April Ludgate birthday bash. 9 o'clock p.m. At the world famous Snakehole Lounge. The place the Pawnee Journal has called, "The sexiest, most dangerous club in town."
Leslie: That's not what they wrote.
Tom: Fine. I added the word sexiest. But, we've hired better security.

I need you to make that out to Wendy. Tom is an amazing guy. You never should have left him. You made a huge mistake in your life and you're probably going to die alone. Love, Detlef.

Brooks Brothers Boys, it's like the cuts are slimmer, and it's cheaper. Win win.

Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 217 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April
x Close Ad