Did they say when the banquet is? Because I'm kind of between tuxes due to weight fluctuation.

Siri, bring Jessica Tandy back to life.

Are you crying 'cause there are no roles for actresses in their 40s?

My love tank is empty!

I think I just solved the mystery of the phantom pooper.

Jon Hamm (as Abner): Here I is Alfie.
Tracy (as Alfie): Oh hell no, I ain't doin' this.

Tracy: Jenna I've been thinking.
Jenna: Why? You're famous.

I didn't get to work an hour late just to be the first one here.

Son this isn't easy for me to say because my tongue caught what my foot has...

Liz Lemon is the only person I know who even has a father.

I never even taught him how to shave...an orangutan.

Something terrible has happened, and for once I'm not talking about the collapse of the middle class.

30 Rock Quotes

Jack: Never go with a hippie to a second location.
Liz: I need to do that thing that rich people do where they turn money into more money. Can you teach me how to do that?
Jack: With my eyes closed.

Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? [pointing thumbs at self] This moi.

Liz