South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park
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Oh Jesus man! They're gonna get me! Oh Christ!

Cartman: Oh, you didn't see it? Tweek's family was on the news saying what a wuss you are Craig.
Kyle: Yea, and then Craig's family came on and said that Tweek was the wuss, and punched Tweek's mom in the hooters.
Tweek: Ahh! You son of a bitch.
Tweek and Craig start fighting again

MORAL#1:
Woman: Richard, you have to go on. I want you to be happy.
Adler: But I never got to say goodbye to you.
Woman: Then say it now, Richard.
Richard: Goodbye...
Woman: There. Now are you happy?
Adler: No
Woman: Of course you aren't. Saying goodbye doesnt mean anything. It's the times that we lived in that matters, not how we left it.
Adler: You're right... You're right!
Grandma: Richard! It's me! Grandma!
Adler: Grandma?! Hi, Gram
Corey: Hey, Richard! Remember me?!
Adler: Uncle Corey! Wow, you're all alive again!
Corey: No, we're dead!
MORAL#2:
Stan: Hey, guys. How are ya feeling?
Tweek: Ahh!
Craig: Uhh.
Stan: Yeah, well, we have something to say.
Kyle: We wanted to see who was the toughest. WE made you fight each other. WE made up all that stuff we said.
*Craig flips off boys*
Cartman: Yes, you can flip us off Craig, we deserve that. We just came by to apologize, we feel so bad.

Kyle: Whoa did you hear that, Tweek?
Tweek: (Exhausted) What?
Kyle: Craig just called you a boner.
Tweek: Agh! You son of a bitch!
(Fights Craig again)
Kyle: We just have to keep pouring gas into the fire.
Stan: Yeah!

This is too much pressure. AHH!!

</i> Tweek

They really have my balls in a juice maker.

Mr. Tweek

They really have my balls in a salad shooter.

Mr. Tweek

Mrs. Tweek: Oh hello son. How was your day?
Tweek: Arghhh!
Mrs. Tweek: Who are your little friends?
Tweek: What do you mean?
Kyle: We're his oral report buddies.
Stan: Yeah, we have to stay up all night to write it.
Mrs. Tweek: Well have some coffee boys. I'll brew up another pot for later.
Kyle: Coffee? I don't think I like coffee.
Mrs. Tweek: Oh you'll like this coffee, it's fresh.
Mr. Tweek: Country fresh, like the morning after a rainstorm.
Stan: Okay.

We've been using these poor kids to pull at your heartstrings for our cause. We're as low and despicable as Rob Reiner.

Mrs. Tweek

(Mr. Tweek keeps talking like a coffee commercial)
Tweek: Dad!
Mr. Tweek: What?
Tweek: The metaphors, man!
Mr. Tweek: Oh, sorry.

Kyle: Do you ever think maybe you shouldn't give your son coffee?
Mrs. Tweek: Why would you say that?
Kyle: Well, look at him. He's always shaky and nervous.
Mrs. Tweek: Oh, that. He has A.D.D., attention defecit disorder. That's why he's so jittery all the time.

They really have my balls in a vice grip.

Mr. Tweek
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 15 in total

South Park Quotes

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman

James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron!

James Cameron