South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralPopular Tweek Tweak Quotes
Mrs. Tweek: Oh hello son. How was your day?
Tweek: Arghhh!
Mrs. Tweek: Who are your little friends?
Tweek: What do you mean?
Kyle: We're his oral report buddies.
Stan: Yeah, we have to stay up all night to write it.
Mrs. Tweek: Well have some coffee boys. I'll brew up another pot for later.
Kyle: Coffee? I don't think I like coffee.
Mrs. Tweek: Oh you'll like this coffee, it's fresh.
Mr. Tweek: Country fresh, like the morning after a rainstorm.
Stan: Okay.
Mr. Tweek: What can I get for you, Officer Barbrady?
Barbrady: Oh, just the usual.
(Mr. Tweek hits Barbrady in the face with a cat)
Barbrady: Thanks! See you tomorrow!
Kyle: OK, we have to do this stupid report, so -
Tweek: Uhh! ERR! Uhh-Uhhn! Unh, Unh!
Kyle: - so let's figure out what to do it about.
Kyle: Shh don't scare em'
Stan: Hey there little guy?
Cartman: BAD!!! (Hit's gnome with a stick)
Kyle: Cartman?!?!?
Cartman: What?
Kyle: Why do you always have to hit stuff with a stick?!
Cartman: Well look at? He's all, ya know. Look at him (Hit's gnome with a stick again)
Gnome: Is that all you got pussy?
Cartman: What?!?!?
Stan: Hey, he talked
Cartman: Yeah he called me a pussy, I'm not a pussy, you're a pussy!
Gnome: You're a pussy. Pussy!
Cartman: Ay?!?!?
Stan: Then why are you taking Tweek's underpants?
Kyle: Yeah, look what you're doing to this poor kid.
Tweek: Ahh!!!
Gnome: Stealing underpants is big business.
Stan: Business? Wait? Do you know anything about business?
Gnome: Sure, that's what gnomes do.
Kyle: Show us!
Gnome: OK, follow me.
Cartman: Pussy gnome! Don't call me a pussy pussy gnome.
This is too much pressure. AHH!!
</i> Tweek
They really have my balls in a juice maker.
Mr. Tweek
They really have my balls in a salad shooter.
Mr. Tweek
They really have my balls in a vice grip.
Mr. Tweek
We've been using these poor kids to pull at your heartstrings for our cause. We're as low and despicable as Rob Reiner.
Mrs. Tweek
(Mr. Tweek keeps talking like a coffee commercial)
Tweek: Dad!
Mr. Tweek: What?
Tweek: The metaphors, man!
Mr. Tweek: Oh, sorry.
Kyle: Do you ever think maybe you shouldn't give your son coffee?
Mrs. Tweek: Why would you say that?
Kyle: Well, look at him. He's always shaky and nervous.
Mrs. Tweek: Oh, that. He has A.D.D., attention defecit disorder. That's why he's so jittery all the time.
Cartman: Oh, you didn't see it? Tweek's family was on the news saying what a wuss you are Craig.
Kyle: Yea, and then Craig's family came on and said that Tweek was the wuss, and punched Tweek's mom in the hooters.
Tweek: Ahh! You son of a bitch.
Tweek and Craig start fighting again
