(crying) Jim is g-gone!!! He's gone, I miss him so MUCH!! OOH, I cry myself to sleep!!! JIIIM!! (stops crying) False. I do not miss him.

Dwight

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Dwight Schrute Quotes, The Office Season 3 Episode 1 Quotes, The Office Quotes
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The Office Season 3 Episode 1 Quotes

I got them a toaster. They called off the wedding and gave the toaster back to me. I tried to return the toaster to the store, and they said they no longer sold that kind of toaster. So now my house has got two toasters.

Stanley

Michael: I call everybody faggy. Why would anyone find that offensive?
Toby: I think Oscar would like it if you just used "lame" or something.
Michael: But that's what faggy means!