Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

Face it, Alan. When the good Lord was handing out courage, you were crouched in a locker, peein' on your gym socks.

Charlie
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Related Quotes:
Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 1 Quotes, Charlie Harper Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 1 Quotes

Charlie: Hey, Berta, how have you been washing my underwear?
Berta: Like I do everything else around here: with a song on my lips and love in my heart.
Charlie: I'm serious. I got a rash in my, you know, private area.
Berta: Private? You get any more traffic down there, you're gonna have to open a Starbucks.

Alan: You sure it's just a rash?
Charlie: What else could it be?
Alan: Uh, well, since we are talking about your private area, it could be anything from Ebola to mad cow disease.
Charlie: You get Ebola from monkeys, right?
Alan: Right.
Charlie: It's just a rash.

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