Family jewels.

Grandpa: Dear Advertisers, I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on television. We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals who remember the good old days when entertainment was bland and inoffensive. The following is a list of words I never want to hear on televison again. Number one: bra. Number two: horny. Number three: family jewels.


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Character:
Grampa Simpson
Episode:
The Simpsons Season 1 Episode 5: "Bart the General"
Show:
The Simpsons
Related Quotes:
Grampa Simpson Quotes, The Simpsons Season 1 Episode 5 Quotes, The Simpsons Quotes
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The Simpsons Season 1 Episode 5 Quotes

Armistice treaty, article four. "Nelson is never again to raise his fists in anger." Article five. "Nelson recognizes Bart's right to exist." Article six. "Although Nelson shall have no official power, he shall remain a figurehead of menace in the neighborhood."

Herman

Bart: Okay, we all know why we're here, right?
Milhouse: No, why?
Bart: To fight Nelson, the bully. That guy has been tormenting all of us for years, and I for one am sick of it! I can't promise you victory. I can't promise you good times. But the one thing I do know--
(All the boys file out.)
Bart: Whoa! Whoa! I promise you victory! I promise you good times!

  1. Quotes
  2. Family jewels.