Grampa: Hah! The way people act around here, you'd think the streets were paved with gold.
Jasper: They are.

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Grampa Simpson Quotes, The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 10 Quotes, The Simpsons Quotes
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The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 10 Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

(to Marge) You promised Lisa to help her with her costume. You made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed...she's such a little trooper!