The Simpsons

The Simpsons "$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)" Quotes

Homer: Remember when I got caught stealing all those watches from Sears? Well, that's nothing because you have a gambling problem.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: Nevada makes my butt look big.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kent Brockman: Joblessness is not just for philosophy majors anymore. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Homer: (to Lisa) It's always something, isn't it? First, I have to drive your pregnant mother to the hospital so she can give birth to you. Now this!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house because he was dressed like Santa Claus? Well, you have a gambling problem.
 • Rating: Unrated

Robert Goulet: Are you sure this is the casino? I think I should call my manager.
Nelson: Your manager says for you shut up!
Robert Goulet: Vera said that?
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Burns: (holding a miniature plane) We'll take the Spruce Goose. Hop in.
Smithers: But sure I
(Burns pulls out a gun)
Mr. Burns: I said hop in.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: Here's a card for you, James Bond.
James Bond: You gave me a Joker?!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Wow, just like on TV.
(he trips over an ottoman. A studio audience begins to laugh)
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: There's nothing to eat for breakfast.
Homer: You gotta improvise, Lisa. ClovesTom Collins' mixfrozen pie crust (he just give it a bite) Lets go for mom.
 • Rating: Unrated

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