Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

Bill: I know this comes as a shock to you.
Charlie: Please, if I had a nickel for every time a girl dumped me, disapeared for five years and came back as a guy, I'd have a nickel!


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Related Quotes:
Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 Quotes, Charlie Harper Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 Quotes

Charlie: I got a little e-mail this morning from an old girlfriend who says she needs to "see me."
Berta: No kidding? I wonder if she's "knocked up."
Charlie: Nobody's knocked up. I haven't heard from her in three years.
Berta: So she's bringing you a four-year-old

Berta: Wait a minute. Isn't she the one who dumped you?
Alan: Someone dumped Charlie?!?!
Berta: Broke his little black heart. It was pathetic!

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