Magic Mirror, how can I look like a douche-bag today? Well Kev...
Kevin Ferderline: Magic Mirror, how can I look like a douche-bag today?
Magic Mirror Peter: Well Kevin, uhm, I would say first of all don't shave or shower.
Kevin Ferderline: Ok, I won't.
Magic Mirror Peter: And uh, you just got out of bed right?
Kevin Ferderline: Yeah.
Magic Mirror Peter: I would say just go ahead and wear that tank-top all day.
Kevin Ferderline: Uhm, ok.
Magic Mirror Peter: Alright, so we covered the hygene, no collared shirts, uhm...ohh, and don't forget to walk around with an undeserved sense of accomplishment.
Karen: So, did you have a nice day?
Gary: It was okay.
Karen: You know our son got into your closet today.
Gary: Ah, okay.
Karen: Ah, anything, anything in there maybe that you wouldn't of wanted him to see?
Karen: Really? You don't, have any dirty pictures in there?
Karen: Uh, well how do you explain these? (Shows caveman porn).
Gary: So what? So I have some paintings.
Karen: Uh, this is how you want me to look?
Gary: Oh come on Karen, do you hate your body so much that you have to reduce every painting of the female form to pornography?
Karen: Don't do that Gary!
Gary: Don't do what?
Karen: Don't you do that!
Gary: Don't do what?
Karen: Don't make this my fault!
Gary: It is your fault. All I want to do is come home and have dinner. And have my wife say hello how's your day been? But oh no that's impossible for you.
Karen: You know what this is about?
Karen: This about your disrespect for me, this family and everything we stand for!
Gary: Oh, oh what do we stand for, what do we stand for?! Who are we, the Goracks? Oh suddenly your Cynthia Gorack. That's what you want isn't it. You've always wanted to be Cynthia Gorack.
Karen: Ye, well you know what? At least Cynthia Gorack's husband cares for her family! Ah, I can't even talk to you when you're like this!
Gary: Oh, okay! It's over now because you say it is. Oh way to go Karen! You solve all our problems by just walking away. I mean it's so obvious I don't care about the family. I just killed a 700 pound tiger with a stick and a rock!
Karen: That doesn't make you a man Gary!
Gary: Here we go, here's act 2 of the performance. Karen pretends to leave home for the twentieth time. You know what Karen? Go, just go. I'm not going to stop you, just go! Get out, Get the hell out!
Karen: Screw you Gary!
Gary: Oh, maybe if you did that more often maybe I wouldn't need these paintings!
- Permalink: So, did you have a nice day? It was okay. You know our son g...
Lady Guinevere: Oh, Arthur, if you can remove this sword from it's stone, and prove that you are the true king of England, I will make love to you in this very field.
Arthur: What if I just move it a little? Will you touch me?
- Permalink: Oh, Arthur, if you can remove this sword from it's stone, and pr...