2 Broke Girls Quotes
Webmaster: I can be done in a minute.
Max: Yeah, not want you want to hear.
Sophie: Do you want me to wait to give you and Caroline a ride back to our building?
Max: No it's ok, we still have to clean up and take the garbage out
Sophie: [Oleg struts in] Looks like the garbage is taking itself out.
Caroline: It's strictly business.
Max: Alright, but it's costing us 200 dollars, might as well get something out of it. Maybe let him browse your Yahoo.
Han: Tomorrow is Caroline's birthday.
Max: Why don't I know that about her? She tells me everything. I know so much about her cycle I feel pressure to impregnate her.
Oleg: I can do that for you.
Caroline: What about sex?
Sophie: Nobody does me better than me.
Oleg: Sofi has new man in her life. I'm so mad I can't see straight.
Max: I'm looking right at him and I don't see straight either.
Earl: Who is that?
Max: Sophie's new boyfriend.
Earl: And where is his boyfriend?
Max: You know I switched that Purell with KY.
Caroline: Please tell me you're kidding.
Max: Of course I' kidding, I can't afford lube; I just use my tears.
Caroline: Max seriously, don't mess with my hand sanitizer. I already caught "poverty" this year; I'm not catching the flu.
Roses from a man. I think I'm getting it. Is it wrong that I kind of want to sleep with your dad right now?
Max
Oh thank god it's you Han, I saw the wings and thought heaven was full of chunky Chinese cherubs and no jazz.
Earl
Caroline: Your wings are adorable!
Han: Yes, but matching panties are suffocating the boys.
David: So you're not here to return my Dartmouth T-shirt
Caroline: You gave that to me.
David: No I loaned it to you, I feel like I lost it in a custody battle, and now I'm a deadbeat dad.
