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Caroline: I'm so sorry, this is silly. I know this must be hard for you.
Nicholas: Not anymore.

You really think you can sleep with him without using his penis as a pillow?


See? You just pop them out one at a time. They're like Pez for sluts.


The only thing this hair and my mother have in common is that they're both high.


Bonjour, bitches!


Caroline: That should've been mine, I haven't had a hairgasm in years.
Max: She hasn't had any gasm in years.

Caroline: Dammit, I got a straight one.
Max: What makes you think he's straight
Caroline: He keeps pushing my head down before I'm ready.

The Pill's like 50 bucks a month, that's more than it costs to raise a damn baby.


Wait Max, can I hold the million? For just one more second I want to be upper middle class.

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