Liz: ... Any dumb-dumb can act, Jack, so be a man and get it done.
Jack: If you were any other woman on Earth, I would be turned on right now.

I think we need to change this Donald Trump joke... because Donald Trump was eaten by a lion this morning... on the International Space Station... Anyone listening?

Liz

Jack: Are you familiar with Six Sigma?
Frank: Oh, yeah. It's a special kinda G.I. Joe.
Jack: It's Frank, right?
Frank: Yes, sir.
Jack: Six Sigma says that a manager must understand every aspect of the business that he or she oversees.
Liz: Which means?
Jack: I'll be here everyday. Soaking it up.

Jack: So, I was doing some research on comedy and I came across the cartoon strip Dilbert. It's quite good. And I was wondering if we could do that.
Liz: Do what?
Jack: Dilbert.

Pete: So, is Donaghy gonna be in the room again today?
Liz: Ugh. Probably, yeah.
Pete: Well, you have to say something to him. You guys aren't getting any work done.
Liz: Really? You don't think his idea of starting with the catchphrases and working backwards is panning out?

Liz: That's it. I gotta talk to her about her clothes, she can't dress like that.
Pete: Well, yes, she can! People like the way she dresses!
Liz: Oh, c'mon. It's distracting, it's inappropriate.
Pete: You're inappropriate, you jerk, with your big stupid face!

Liz: Okay, this is gonna sound really weird. But, um, you need to wear a bra.
Cerie: Oh, no. I... I don't actually. They kinda just stay up on their own.

Liz: Um, yeah, okay. What I'm saying is you need to wear a bra to work if you wanna be taken seriously in this business.
Cerie: Oh, but I don't actually wanna work in television. Career-wise, I'm just gonna marry rich and design handbags.
Liz: Here's the thing. The way you dress is making some people around the office... uncomfortable.
Cerie: Really? Who?

Pete: Oh my god! Wha... what are you wearing?!
Frank: You're making me gay.
Liz: It's a joke, obviously. I'm wearing this as a joke. Bunch of comedy writers don't know a joke, jeez. [goes to her office]
Frank: I just threw up in my mouth.
Liz: I said it's a joke!

Jack: Are you familiar with the Japanese art of Reiki?
Liz: No.
Jack: It is the laying on of hands in order to improve one's life.
Liz: How does your life improve? Do the hands have money in them?

You're trying to bring logic to the Robot-Bear sketch?

Liz

Liz: Why does he always assume we're lesbians?
Gretchen: I am a lesbian.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 174 in total

30 Rock Season 1 Quotes

Television on! Pornography!

Tracy

Jack: Are you familiar with the GE tri-vection oven?
Liz: I don't cook very much.
Jack: Sure... I gotcha. New York, third-wave feminist, college-educated, single and pretending to be happy about it, over-scheduled, undersexed, you buy any magazine that says "healthy body image" on the cover, and every two years you take up knitting for ... a week.
Pete: That is dead on!
Liz: What, are you going to guess my weight now?
Jack: You don't want me to do that.

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