Everyone has something to hide. For instance, I'm wearing a child's Halloween costume under this.


[to Liz] You know this food area is always the first place I go to look for you.


Oh, I didn't know anyone was here. That wasn't me screaming in the bathroom.


Paul lives in Florida. He paints landscapes and makes his own soda.

Jack's mom

Don't patronize me with your Celtic slang, Liz Lemon.


[to Tracy] Oh my God! Like we really have time to have you walk down the stairs that slowly!


Evidently the concierge at the Plaza has a beard, and she'd rather not get raped.


[to Liz's offer of a hug] What is this, the Italian parliament. No, thank you?


I don't mind taking her out. There's a restaurant hostess in midtown I'd like to see cry.


You treat me like a child! No, worse than that. Like one of those pageant girls with the clip-on teeth.


I took my son to his cello recital this morning at what turned out to be midnight yesterday!


[on not confronting his dad] It's the biggest regret of my life, Lemon. And I once made love to Kathy Hilton.


30 Rock Season 3 Quotes

Don Geiss: If you're watching this, you are an executive of the General Electric Corporation, and the unthinkable has happened. Capitalism is ending, either because of the Soviets or something ridiculous, like a woman President. I'm speaking to you from the year 1987, but the message is timeless: Avoid The Noid!

If there's one thing I learned from you, Jack, it's to keep your friends close and your enemies so close that you're almost kissing.