I'm sure she's down there, chain-smoking, sitting on the curb, waiting for me to come out. Just like the day I was born.

Jenna

I didn't see her. Security called. She was trying to use an Oxycontin bottle as I.D.

Jenna

You just enjoy your coffee, sir, while I tell you a funny story about my neighbor's cat. His name is Mr. Wiggles, and his cat's name is Benson.

Kenneth

It was perfect. Like a John Mayer song.

Jenna

I can't run a store and make change for people!

Nancy

I am Silas Merrymount Peppercorn. This is my wife... Moronica.

Kenneth

The imaginary enemy. Classic move, Lemon. The Salem Witch Trials, the Red scare, global warming.

Jack

We didn't land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on Mars!

Tracy

It'll be the new owner's problem, like the water heater. And the ghost.

Nancy

Yeah, we talked about it with Dr. Phil and then we made a collage and wrote about it in our dream journals.

Nancy

What keeps people polite on airplanes? A shared hatred for the CBS sitcoms they're forced to watch.

Jack

What, you're not using an office replication service while you're here?

Jack
Displaying quotes 181 - 192 of 358 in total

30 Rock Season 4 Quotes

[to Jack] Spit take. Are you serious?

Liz

Jack: I say we hire the one who lives by the code of the robot: Care. Love. Live.

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