So I'll go to Floyd's wedding alone. Maybe I'll just lean into it and bring a cat and a baby stroller.


This is a public park named after Ron Artest.


I remember being born, of course, and I remember learning to ride a bike. But that was last year.


Tracy: [on his new movie] Garfield 3: Feline Groovy. It's a pun. Because cats' paws have grooves. They're paying me one million teacher salaries.

Hey Dummy, yeah as soon as my beeper went off I knew it was you. I've got a personalized vibration for each chick I used to put it to


I've prepared a very unromantic evening. First we're going to see a documentary about female circumcision, and then we're going to eat too much Indian food.


Kenneth: And it's real Oscar bait sir. You say things like 'You don't know my pain!' 'You watch your mouth, Tyrese!,' and in a less dramatic scene: 'I'll have hash browns.'

I'll have you know Liz that I'm in line for a hand transplant. There's this strangler who's about to be executed, and uh, I got my hooks crossed!


God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.

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