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Avery: Well, if you must know I'm on Dodecaysil, the pill where you only get your period once a year.
Jack: Ugh, we're so close to beating that thing completely.

Jack: You do not want to miss this wedding, it's going to be New York royalty: the Astors, the Rockefellers, the Sbarros.
Avery: I know Jack. You think I don't want to know what Pizzerina Sbarro is going to be wearing?

I promise you this weekend will be filled with looking out windows while holding a glass of scotch.

Jack

[on CNBC's Mad Money] I didn't realize we were still airing that. Cramer's been dead for six months.

Jack

I'm coming alone, Cerie, but I would still like two meals.

Liz

Sexual time travel. Just like my Cinemax softcore 'Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land.

Jenna

I once woke up in the National Air and Space Museum with a revolver in the waistband of my jean shorts.

Buzz Aldrin

And then where will I be? I'll be circling the globe in my coffin rocket. Something I saw on TV. It's very expensive.

Colleen

He's in town. I saw him last night at Rupert Murdoch's Twister party. I mean ... regular party.

Jack

You could have married him mom. Laura Linney could have played you in the HBO original movie Moon Wives!

Liz

Two women. At the same time. What are you, Italian?

Colleen

I know it's gay, but it's my gay problem and I'm handling it!

Jack
Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 358 in total