So I'll go to Floyd's wedding alone. Maybe I'll just lean into it and bring a cat and a baby stroller.

Liz

This is a public park named after Ron Artest.

Liz

I remember being born, of course, and I remember learning to ride a bike. But that was last year.

Tracy

Tracy: [on his new movie] Garfield 3: Feline Groovy. It's a pun. Because cats' paws have grooves. They're paying me one million teacher salaries.

Hey Dummy, yeah as soon as my beeper went off I knew it was you. I've got a personalized vibration for each chick I used to put it to

Dennis

I've prepared a very unromantic evening. First we're going to see a documentary about female circumcision, and then we're going to eat too much Indian food.

Jack

Kenneth: And it's real Oscar bait sir. You say things like 'You don't know my pain!' 'You watch your mouth, Tyrese!,' and in a less dramatic scene: 'I'll have hash browns.'

I'll have you know Liz that I'm in line for a hand transplant. There's this strangler who's about to be executed, and uh, I got my hooks crossed!

Drew

God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.

Liz
Displaying quotes 28 - 36 of 358 in total