I'm the luckiest sh/man in the world.

Paul

[reading Tracy's letter] I will always be your ... oh no, I'm white, I can't read that word.

Liz

[on Argus] He's become listless, and he won't eat any of the food I got at the crazy rich person's pet shop.

Jack

[on Geiss] We'd sit on his veranda talking about politics, business, how not to get paper cuts when making love on a pile of money.

Jack

Peacocks can live up to 40 years. Longer if they're not part of Mike Tyson's zoo.

Jack

I'm guessing already married cat strangler.

Pete

We really were the Sam and Diane of this place.

Grizz

[to Jenna] What's going on? Why are you being so happy and nice? Are you soaking your tampons in vodka again?

Liz

We have to tell Jenna that we can't do her Kardashian sketch because Jack is bro's with Lamar Odom.

Liz
Displaying quotes 64 - 72 of 358 in total