Wow, what a cool car Tamara. Just remind me to put a paper bag over my head when we roll up venue, kay?

Sadie

Playing matchmaker with an ex proves you've gone from Point A to Point Cray.

Tamara

Eva, you neglected to tell us this place is on the corner of Hep C and Rape.

Tamara

Luke had come to meet the adults in my life. Unfortunately, I was surrounded by children.

Jenna

O to the M to the F to the G. This place is a pinterest board full of bangable dudes.

Tamara

Eva: Sadie, I really admire how comfortable you are with your body. You're so brave.
Sadie: I'm not brave. I have amazing tits unlike you and your sad floppers.

Sh*t just got real.

Tamara

Do I hear a bitch-pitch in your voice?

Tamara

Tamara: Jenna, why are you holing up in here?
Jenna: It just feels more comfortable in the toilet since I feel like s**t.

Sadie: What are we gonna do? Be a three way freak show where you hold my hips as I slow dance with Austin?
Lissa: Oh, that sounds fun!

If you tell anyone I’m having this soft side moment I swear I will cut you.

Sadie

Ally: Suck it up, big girls don’t cry.
Sadie: Whore.
Ally: Bitch

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Awkward Quotes

Jenna: This year would be my year. For once I wouldn't be overlooked not with Matty at my... backdoor!
Matty: Oh sorry, I slipped.

For 15 years I fantasized about everyone noticing me as I walked down the hall. What would I be wearing? Would every guy worship me? Would I be five inches taller and have porn tits? No, that was not my reality. My moment in the spotlight sucked some serious ass.

Jenna