Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Thursdays 8:00 PM on NBCFavorite Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes
Terry: Jake! Are you okay!?
Jake: No, Sarge, I got hit by a car!
I'd give you a hug, but right now my body has the structural integrity of a chocolate souffle.
Jake
All Fire Marshals are doofuses, but Boone is King Doofus of Doofus Island.
Jake
She's the devil, and you don't dance with the devil because you get burned. Also, because in Madeline's case she has no rhythm, and her hands are like little rat claws.
Holt
Holt: Why do you idolize that man and the time he wrote about? Peralta: Because the 70s were amazing! Everyone had big juicy mustaches and all the clothes were orange...and flammable.
Jake: You got it. You're my friend and I won't let you down. I'm gonna push you up, just like a bra.
Rosa: What?
Jake: Nah, I meant brassiere, which is totally different!
Rosa: Come on man.
Jake: Not better... Here we go!
Boyle: Here we go!
Gina: Jake, you have 6 massage chairs.
Jake: Well they don't make a massage couch!
(imitating Wuntch) You could have had a chopper, Raymond. Why didn't you take advantage? Just a minute, my cauldron's boiling over.
Holt
Amy: I've been waiting to hear you say that all day long...
Jake: I know.
Amy: Which is why you shouldn't say it.
Jake: What?
Amy: You're still trying to make people happy. Don't apologize to me. Be a leader and tell me what you need me to do. Tell everyone what you need them to do. You're the Captain, Jake.
Jake: I'm the Captain now... Captain Phillips!
Amy: Captain Phillips!
Jake: That's what it was! Look at me!
Jake: I know you're too proud to say "I told you so" so I'm just gonna...
Amy: Told you so! Not too proud.
Jake: Yeah... Seems right.
Jake: Bing-pot!! Nope, I was gonna say bingo and then I was like jackpot's better but then it was too late, I was halfway through the word.
Charles: Bingpot works! It's taking off!
Ugh, she never smiles. Is her mouth broken!?
Amy
