Favorite Californication Quotes
You know maybe if you just relaxed for half a second, and stopped looking so hard for the appropriate life mate, then you might wake up one morning next to one.
Hank
Do you really think a woman wants to go down on a man who just walked in off the tennis courts? Or just came in from a ride? Huh? You think I want to peel off those sweaty bike shorts and go to town? Disgusting!
Felicia
If you and I were trapped on a desert island, it would only be a matter of time before I was putting it in your pooper.
Charlie
Hank: No Charlie you look good. Like a baby. Like a big sexy baby.
Charlie: Thank you.
I don't get it Becs, what could possibly be so awful about visiting the woman who pushed you through her magnificent vagina - in New York, in the fall no less, you're going to be stepping off the plane into a Woody Allen film - and not, not recent Woody Allen, old Woody Allen, Annie Hall, Manhattan Woody Allen.
Hank
Charlie: Can I ask you a question, Sue?
Sue: The answer is yes, I would love a face ride.
I'm holding out for Keitel. When in doubt call, in the Bad Lieutenant. Plus the guy loves to show his dong. Gotta love that in a thespian.
Hank
Hank: Barney Greengrass, where you may have very well been conceived, young lady.
Becca: Really?
Hank: Yeah.
Karen: Actually, no, it was the bathroom at CBGB's.
Becca: Jesus Christ, boundaries, people!
Hank: Yeah, well we went to the bathroom at Greengrass the next day, if you recall, and who's to say which batch of seed took root, woman!
Becca: And there goes my appetite!
Hank: We should maybe go pay a visit there, to that shrine to your vagine.
Abby: Is there something I should know here?
Charlie: Such as?
Abby: Is he retarded?
Start with a shower, you smell like you just walked out of a fisting contest.
Abby
That's the thing about secrets, Hank, they have a funny way of coming out.
Mia
I love women. I have all their albums.
Hank Moody
