Now there is the surly mean spirited bastard I know and love. He's back!

Charlie

Worst intervention ever.

Hank

Some crazy bitch tries to kill you, you defend her honor. Your best friend tries to help you, you punch him in the face?

Charlie

I like my stink.

Hank

You're going to live to humiliate yourself another day.

Hank

Charlie: In my advanced middle age I've learned one thing and that's ignorance truly is bliss.
Marcy: Oh God damnit, it's these hot young skanks with their tight pussies and their perfect tits! It's a fucking epidemic!
Charlie: That is so true! They can't be stopped, they're marriage killers.

Your work is done Dad, I am who I am. I have to make my own mistakes.

Becca

No matter how beautiful the grounds this place is a zoo and I'm a wild animal.

Richard

Welcome to the place where time stands still, where whiskey flows and always will. Your liver never pickles your heart never aches. You can fuck till your dick is cunt-ent.

Lou

Thanks for letting me be the crazy one for once.

Karen

The older I get the clearer it becomes that you two were the best thing to ever happen to an old fool like me.

Hank

They fucking love you to pieces you dumb shit, we all do. You just have trouble loving yourself.

Marcy

Californication Quotes

Try not to forget all the times I brought you to fruition. 33 to be exact.

Hank Moody

I love women. I have all their albums.

Hank Moody