Californication

Californication

Sundays 10:30 PM on Showtime

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Season: 5 4 3

Californication Season 4 Quotes

Season 4 Episode 12: "And Justice for All"

Movie Karen: Why does he love her so much? I mean what is it about her?
Hank: I don't know. I don't think I've ever known. I think sometimes you get it right the first time and then it defines your life. It becomes who you are.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Becca: You know what I think Dad? I think it's all going to be OK. Chapters end. Sometime you gotta shake things up.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Hank: You're clearly the better man.
Ben: Yeah Hank? Like that was ever up for debate buddy.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Eddie: Stinky snatch! P.U.!
 • Rating: Unrated
Peggy: Ugh this is so boring! I wish we were at the kid's table and you were finger banging me underneath it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Eddie: Well listen we don't need to work this out today Karen, but I would like to pick your brain and I do think you should consider opening yourself up to me sexually. Are you spoken for?
 • Rating: Unrated
Sasha: Once you f**ked my mother my vagina pretty much sealed right up.
Hank: So you're like a Barbi now?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Peggy: I was just telling him I started my period and that my cherry poppin' daddy needs to earn his red wings.
Hank: Oh boy, this planet that you're from? How far from the sun we talking?
Peggy: Excuse fellas, this dirty little girl scout needs to plug herself up. Don't worry Charlie, I'll let you pull the string.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Karen: And the judge? Did you sleep with the judge too?
Hank: No, no, just a little oral and some anal. Its hard to get the robe up.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Karen: Oh my god, nothing changes! You got off so f**king lucky today and are still behaving like a bratty child.
Hank: Right...thank you for reeling me in. Let's hug it out. Celebrate my good fortune?
 • Rating: Unrated
Karen: Wow you move fast. Or is this how you are paying off your bill?
 • Rating: Unrated
Hank: Oh never have I been so excited to write a huge check and service the community for twelve days.
 • Rating: Unrated
Judge: You have been found guilty of statutory rape, but the real crime here is not one of moral turpitude. Your true crime is that you seem committed to squandering your natural gifts and wasting what appears to be a rewarding life.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 11: "The Last Supper"

Karen: I thought we were a f**king fairy tale, but if you're careless with something long enough you know it breaks. And that's how I feel, broken, completely and utterly broken.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Karen: I am lucky. I'm lucky to have known you. I'm lucky to have loved you, but I feel it's finally over, which is a kind of relief.
 • Rating: Unrated
Marcy: God I wish I could get high with y'all. I mean the baby's not gonna go full retard if I get just the tiniest bit whacked right?
 • Rating: Unrated
Marcy: You're wise and beautiful you know that? You make us feel old and stupid, and we love you for it.
 • Rating: Unrated
Becca: Take it from someone who was watching and taking notes. You guys were good together.
 • Rating: Unrated
Hank: Oh god, pity those poor kids who are never going to forget this image of this big naked man-baby rising up from the water like the creature from the pasty white lagoon.
Charlie: There's no grosser than your mother and father they used to sneak off to do it everywhere. In bathrooms, in utility closets...
Marcy: True, didn't you schlob Hank's knob on a balcony once?
 • Rating: Unrated
Becca: You know that I pray sometimes Dad? You know what I pray for the most? That I wake up one day and you've become a total bore.
 • Rating: Unrated

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Season: 5 4 3
Total Season 4 Quotes: 116
Total Californication Quotes: 279
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