Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar-town

Why do these stars have names on them?

Jules

Holy banjo, check out boob mountain.

Bobby

I just want to give him a memory that is so great that he will never forget it.

Jules

Ellie: Stan the bartender?
Andy: We have a son named Stan.
Ellie: Oh, sure sure.

Sweetie, I'd let other people do the cons.

Jules

Remember when we wanted to change the title? Ah, good times. Thanks for sticking with us.

Title Card

Laurie: Hey, for the record I wore underwear tonight so you'd think I was classy.
Travis: No you didn't.
Laurie: I didn't. Turns out I don't actually own any.

Ellie: I'd be so much of a better husband than you. You're lucky you have a penis.
Grayson: Yup, they're pretty cool.

Yes, you've made me dumber, congratulations.

Grayson

No one's ever made me a stalker video that I didn't have to see in a courtroom first. I love it.

Laurie

John Hughes is a God.

Title Card

Laurie: Burn in hell you sad, desperate skank.
Grayson: Texting your mom?
Laurie: Yeah.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 652 in total
×