Talking like a douche is not helping your case.

Ellie

Call your not stupid wife.

Ellie

The only thing I've ever made from scratch is Travis.

Jules

I don't remember taking any hallucinogenic drugs, but why else would I be seeing you in my house?

Ellie

I did not watch Chapstick, but I did watch him to leave.

Ellie

Oh come on Ellie, we all know Travis is ambitious, talented, and has a fantastic work ethic. [Everyone laughs]

Grayson

Ellie: Stan is a major handful.
Laurie: Bitch please, one of my brother's thought he was a pitbull.

Yep, we raised a deadbeat.

Jules

Laurie: Highway to the lady zone, what what.
Ellie: Highway indeed.

Ellie: We're at a public event this is not the place for ear sex and a full body rub down.
Laurie: All you do is take me granted.

What does the cougar say?

Title Card

What’s the fun of having a yard sale if we can’t mock the low life's that shop there?

Ellie

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Ellie, I saw Andy's feet...I'm so sorry.
Ellie: No one understands.

Take OFF the mom goggles!

Laurie