There is no greater tragedy than outliving your own wine glass.

Ellie

Letting you put this green screen in my apartment was one the worst mistakes of my life, and I've went out with Dennis Rodman y’all.

Laurie

I haven’t hurt this bad since I had to push my childhood home to a gas station. I would give anything to stop.

Laurie

If I’m running, you’re running. Are you new to this group?

Jules

Jules: The mayor’s wife can take a bottle of wine?
Ellie: Uh, no that’s more of an Ellie thing. We should walk faster.

I’m intrigued, but I’m still convinced she’s going to drain them of their blood and leave them all in a ditch.

Grayson

That’s the first time I've been called a slut in a bad way.

Laurie

Jules: Hey, does it make me gay if I eat this?
Ellie: I think it does.
Jules: Well I’m doing it anyway.
Laurie: Do you want a fork?

You don’t count she lets you see her naked.

Ellie

Welcome to Cougar Town - Now with more Friends.

Title Card

Duh, no paper bills less tree murder.

Jules

Jules: Ever since I got back from Hollywood I've turned into a real movie slut.
Andy: I think you mean movie buff.
Ellie: No, no she's right, the expression is movie slut - change approved.

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Ellie, I saw Andy's feet...I'm so sorry.
Ellie: No one understands.

Take OFF the mom goggles!

Laurie