Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSCougar Town Quotes
Jeff: The stay at home and drink date? Always dangerous. Alcohol makes it hard for you to filter yourself.
Jules: You'd make a pretty girl.
Jeff: And we're off.
Jules: Seriously, I have a skirt that's a little too big for me and God knows you have the legs. All we have to do is shave you down and then tuck some stuff back.
Jeff: No tucking.
Travis, women will always drive us nuts, but have compassion for they only behave that way to protect themselves. They date men they feel superior to so they can't get hurt.
Andy
I like that your ex-husband lives on a boat, there is no possible way I can let you down.
Jeff
Andy: Can you forget that was your mom?
Travis: No problem.
Andy: When a woman has just dominated another woman, she feels ferocious. This is a great time to ask for sex.
Travis: Mom is sort of creeping back in.
Andy: I never said this was gonna be easy. Come on.
Travis: Why am I still following?
Laurie: I wish you could make it simpler.
Grayson: Donkey likes hybrids, health care and homosexuals and elephant likes God.
Laurie: I saw an elephant pray in the circus once.
Grayson: Wow, that's relevant.
Laurie: So both of our votes count the same, right?
Grayson: Yeah, it's a great system.
Laurie: I think it works.
I like queen bitch, it makes me sound like leader of the gays.
Dr. Evans
Travis: Does this mean my girlfriend doesn't like my short stories?
Andy: Of course not, Trav. No one does.
I got my real estate license online one morning when I was trying to avoid fees for my second home. But I get it, real estate is what you do when you have no other option. It's like being a stripper except you get to see your face on a bus bench. Well not this face, of course, but the air brushed version.
Dr. Evans
It's been awhile since I wore a tie, I keep thinking someone's trying to strangle me.
Bobby
Jules: You smell nice.
Dr. Evans: That's the smell of confidence.
Laurie: If Matt Damon weren't married and if he weren't a movie star and if he lived this town, we would totally date.
Jules: That's a lot of if's.
Ellie: Yeah, not enough.
Jules: It it so much harder to be a single woman.
Laurie: So much harder, do you read Kathy?
