Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSCougar Town Quotes
No one's ever made me a stalker video that I didn't have to see in a courtroom first. I love it.
Laurie
John Hughes is a God.
Title Card
Laurie: Burn in hell you sad, desperate skank.
Grayson: Texting your mom?
Laurie: Yeah.
Don't bum out Jules, not everyone is blessed with our God given lack of judgment.
Laurie
So all shoplifters are magicians?
Jules
I don't know what you're thinking, but it's like watching a gay porn with just one dude in it.
Ellie
Grocery store jail, seriously?
Laurie
If you don't want to be someone's bitch, you gotta get ripped.
Jules
Get crabbin' bitch.
Jules
This episode is funnier if you know that Courteney is terrified of birds.
Title Card
Jules: When did you get so good at lying?
Ellie: There's no shortcut. Just practice, practice, practice.
Jules: Time for family dinner.
Grayson: Uh, if it's family, then why is she here?
Ellie: What am I supposed to do eat with Andy? I did that yesterday.