Laurie: I'm gonna say something now that Meredith Baxter Birney has said in every TV movie I have ever seen: "I...will not give up on that boy."

• Permalink: I...will not give up on that boy.
• Added: May 25, 2011

Bobby: I don't get this timezone crap. How can it be one time here and then another time at home. This isn't Star Trek.
Ellie: I wonder what you're doing in Florida right now.

• Permalink: I don't get this timezone crap. How can it be one time here and ...
• Added: May 25, 2011

Hercules! Hercules!

Grayson

• Permalink: Hercules! Hercules!
• Added: May 25, 2011

Laurie: What is with the stomach kissing?
Jules: He's trying to jumpstart my uterus!

• Permalink: What is with the stomach kissing? He's trying to jumpstart my ...
• Added: May 25, 2011

Ellie: What do you want him to do? Live here until he's 60 so you two can spend every second of your lives together?
Jules: Oh my God that would be amazing.

• Permalink: What do you want him to do? Live here until he's 60 so you two c...
• Added: May 19, 2011

Laurie: Did you just one night standed by your own son?
Jules: He said we were going to brunch.
Laurie: Oh no.

• Permalink: Did you just one night standed by your own son? He said we wer...
• Added: May 19, 2011

Ellie: Are those all our houses?
Grayson: And that's us there, burning alive. You don't even have a head. No, wait, there it is.
Ellie: Why is my severed head still screaming?

• Permalink: Are those all our houses? And that's us there, burning alive. ...
• Added: May 19, 2011

I don't know exactly what your race is, but I am into it in a big way.

Laurie

• Permalink: I don't know exactly what your race is, but I am into it in a bi...
• Added: May 19, 2011

Ellie: You should be spraying it from the other side to push it all towards the curb.
Grayson: Are you really telling me how to hose?

• Permalink: You should be spraying it from the other side to push it all tow...
• Added: May 19, 2011

Travis: Mom, that's not you.
Jules: Oh, it's me, I toss asses!

• Permalink: Mom, that's not you. Oh, it's me, I toss asses!
• Added: May 19, 2011

What a great day! Man, this calls for some celebration wine. Oh, sorry, this is also my there's nothing good on TV wine.

Jules

• Permalink: What a great day! Man, this calls for some celebration wine. Oh,...
• Added: May 19, 2011

Grayson: Like Children of the Corn.
Ellie: I crown you King of the Wussies.
Jules: They don't blink.
Ellie: I feel cold.
Grayson: Told ya!

• Permalink: Like Children of the Corn. I crown you King of the Wussies. ...
• Added: May 19, 2011