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Cougar-town

Grayson: There is no such thing as a happy stroke.
Jules: Then what did Kurt Douglas have?
Grayson: A stroke.

Grayson: It's actually illegal for me to sell after I close.
Ellie: That's why I'm not paying for it.

[Title Card]: I didn't know it was back on either. - Abed

Jules: Taters are for laters.
Travis: She actually did say that.

Bobby: Hey Bud, can we talk about Laurie?
Travis: You know I really like her, huh?
Bobby: Yeah, I could tell by the way you stare at her breasts. Different from the way you stare at other breasts, more respectful.

Bobby: I feel like I'm cheating on Andy.
Travis: I'm your son so it's okay.

I'm only an okay storm; I'm not a perfect storm.

Ellie

Jules: I'm sorry we can't hang tonight because we all have a very big important thing we have to go to.
Ellie: That thing got cancelled. I do have a different thing that only I have to go to.

[Title Card]: Hey, would you and your friends watch a show called "Pig Trials"? Watch the episode, get back to us #pigtrials.

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