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A single woman in her thirties. I now have to subscribe to Cat Fancy. It's the law.

Gabrielle

Susan is picking out a dress to wear to Jane's funeral.
Susan: It's not about me, this is about Jane and Ian. What if I wore this one?
Julie: Then it'll be about Jane, Ian and your boobs.
Susan: I have got to get more depressing clothes.

I had sex with Alma and I wasn't even conscious? How reminiscent of our marriage...

Orson

I hadn't really thought a lot about this moment, but when I did... the table we were at didn't have a blood gutter.

Susan

Lynette: I told you I wanted this floor to sparkle like your mom's. Now does this floor look Bree Hodge clean to you?
Andrew: Uh... no. It looks Andrew Van de Kamp clean. But your disappointment in me is very Bree Hodge.

Zach: (referring to Luke) That was really weird. I don't even know the guy and he works for me.
Gabrielle: Works for me too!

Hey... Looks like an interesting book. What's it about? (He grabs the book and throws it aside) Never mind. I'll wait for the movie!

</i> Mike

Ed: Hey you got a little cereal right... (points to her cheek near her lips)
Lynette: Cereal? I didn't have any... Oh I know what that is... I get nauseous from the pain so that's just a little residual vomit.

Gloria: Hey Bree, may I come in?
Bree: What's a garden without a snake?

Gabrielle: You're pimping me out to a teenager!
Susan: Okay, I deserve the pimping remark but let's not pretend that, you know, we're above teenagers.

(narrating) Yes, it can happen so quickly. Life as we know it can change in a blink of an eye. Unlikely friendships can blossom, important careers can be tossed aside, a long lost hope can be rekindled. Still, we should be grateful for whatever changes life throws at us. Because all too soon, the day will come when there are no changes left.

Mary Alice

Zach: Come on, let's go, let's party!
Gabrielle: Listen to me you pimply psychopath! You and I are never going to party! In fact, the only reason we ever gonna be in the same room again is if you strangle a cheerleader and I wind up on the jury!

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 350 in total

Desperate Housewives Season 3 Quotes

Susan: Mike, you saved our lives. (Mike pulls Susan's cheese out of his back pocket) And our cheese! Ian, can you believe it? Mike saved our cheese!
Ian: Yes, yes, he's quite the hero.
Mike: (smirking) Good thing I was following ya.

Bree Hodge? I'm Alma Hodge. I believe we have someone in common.

Alma
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