Popular Eastbound & Down Quotes
Some people say that Kenny Powers is a woman hater. That's not true - I love women. Every f*cking one of them, even the ugly as sh*t ones. But don't ask me to trust them. Not even nuns. Because every pair of t*ts comes with a gaping hole of need that even Kenny Powers can't fill.
Kenny Powers
Smashing a brick through a f*cking dude's window is nothing compared to the things I've done. I've killed people.
Kenny Powers
From this moment on, you're no longer little kids. You're cold, calculated murderers. This is the mindset you gotta be in if you wanna be a champion.
Kenny Powers
I am not trying to sound cocky or full of myself, but Kenny Powers has a sneaking suspicion that no matter what comes his way he will always be great. Because that's just the way sh*t works sometimes.
Kenny Powers
There's one thing I have learned through all my adventures and conquests - it's that some people are just wired for success. I had no choice when it came to being great - I just am great.
Kenny Powers
I don't know what's going on, man. I'm just all jammed up inside. Lost my abilities. Been stripped of all of my god-given talents. Including the talents to be able to have sex with any woman I choose, or throw a f*cking ball fast, or to not prematurely come in my pants. Sometimes I just don't even know which one hurts the most. I'm ashamed of myself.
Kenny Powers
Stupid cookout. As if their f*cking cookout is any sort of big thing. You should see my f*cking cookouts, man. When I was back in Seattle, I had the goddamn Spoonman from the Soundgarden videos coming to my sh*t. I'm talking 6 grills burning at all times. Tiki torches, 3 whole pigs, sh*tloads of macaroni and cheeses, baked potatoes, collard greens, a horse, f*cking Puerto Rican chicks showing their pussies and tits off everywhere. They were amazing.
Kenny Powers
From this moment forward Kenny Powers is just like everyone else. Normal. Not special. No hopes. No dreams. Pretending to be happy when he's really super sad. Just an average guy with exceptional hair. Nothing more, and nothing less.
Kenny Powers
I just want you to know that I've been thinking alot, about, you know, what happened at the cookout. It's just that we were there, and then we were touching each other, and I saw those t*ts and I started feeling your ass and I started breathing heavy and almost got a headache. Then my vision started to go all colorful. Then I just came in my pants. But I won't do that again.
Kenny Powers
I'm laying down my new audiobook. No writing, just spoken words - the old fashioned way.
Kenny Powers
Kenny Powers' days of burnin' ass are done. And that's not a homosexual reference.
Kenny Powers
It's better to be strangled by a necklace of Mexicans than to be strangled by no one.
Kenny
