Favorite Eastwick Quotes
(to Mia) I don't think you're stupid at all...I think you are my salvation.
Roxie
Darryl: I've been thinking about you.
Roxie: Let me guess. Naked and covered in some kind of cooking oil?
Darryl: Mmm, canola, yes.
Darryl: You believe in a lot of weird and crazy things.
Roxie: I don't believe in ghosts.
Darryl: Why do you think you keep seeing one?
Roxie: I don't know. Psychotic break, acid flashback, early Alzheimer's?
Roxie: Be a kid! Act crazy. Sneak out of the house. Chase boys. Rebel!
Mia: Mom, it's not rebelling if you tell me to do it.
Roxie: Yeah, but it's still fun!
(to Joanna and Kat) Would you like to drive me to the mental institution yourself, or should I take my own car?
Roxie
(making a toast) To a successful evening for each of us. May I put my ghost to bed. (to Joanna) May you put your story to bed. (to Kat) And may Raymond put you to bed.
Roxie
Roxie: Since you're a high school dropout, would-be rapist, future Dateline predator who works in a gas station, I'll talk slowly. If you ever touch my daughter again, or any other innocent girl for that matter, so help me God!
Gus: Ok, well, first of all, your little Mia is not so innocent, lady. And second, I may be a high school dropout, but you're the slut who killed her husband so she can bang half the town.
Roxie: I'd be careful what I say next, if I were you.
I'm really sick of this town, with its dumb, old legends and myths. Witches and water. It just makes us all seem like dumb, gullible hicks.
Kat
(staring at Kat in a hot dress) If we were in college, a little Indigo Girls on my iPod, you wouldn't stand a chance.
Joanna
Kat: (to Joanna) I can't believe you went to a whorehouse.
Roxie: (to Kat) I can't believe you had sex in a public pool!
To err is human, to forgive is divine. All that crap.
Roxie
(opening her gift from Darryl) And it's Maurice. Oh boy! Kat gets silk, and I get... Maurice.
Joanna
