I don't think it's lost on any of us that the laws are writte on white paper.

Brian

Don't worry, Mr. Griffin. You're every bit as sympathetic as this chubby-cheeked coco angel.

Peter's Lawyer

Joe: Public opinion has shifted, and the boys upstairs said they can no longer ignore it.
Peter: Who the hell are the boys upstairs?

Lois, I am an unelected vigilante and take my job very seriously.

Peter

You don't have to win to have fun.

Joe

See, we're all terrible people inside.

Lois

Peter, face it. Without Quagmire, we're boring.

Joe

You want me to be the one who says "Giggity" now?

Joe

Peter's a good friend. Not like Cleveland.

Quagmire

Or you can pull the hose out of the bucket and let the hose run free.

Peter

There are gaps in my knowledge. This is hardly news.

Peter

The secret to happiness is burying all your true feelings and living a life of bland compromise.

Lois

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Meg: Do you like Coldplay?
Tobey: Am I a dull white guy? Yes, I like Coldplay!