Let's go take a ride in my open jeep. I took the doors off so it's extra terrifying.

Peter

No, I'm sorry. I thought this was a bank.

Peter

You shouldn't have to do porn to feel appreciated.

Lois

Wait, hold on Brian, everyone deserves a proper funeral. Why do you think we're saving that VCR box in the basement?

Stewie

How bout I just take 'head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.'

Stewie

Stewie: Hey Brian, show her your Boost mobil phone.
Brian: Stewie has AIDs.

Peter: It feels like just yesterday, she was born!
Doctor: You want to cut the cord?
Peter: Yeah, sure!
Doctoer: Okay that wasn't the cord, and now you've got a girl.

Lois: Is that what you really thoguht?
Peter: I did, I really did.

What!? Why's there an animated one of me and you doing it on there?

Peter

Oh yeah, every woman looks great in a sundress.

Brian

I know Meg, that's why I'm going to confuse you by calling it 'Erotica.'

Evan

Stewie: Boy in a truck to young to drive
Choir: Sing what you see!

Family Guy Quotes

Peter, are you just trying to take a knee until the end of the show? Peter that's not gonna work, you can't just --

Lois

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)