Family Guy

Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX
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Just let go of the rope, nobody has to get hurt Brian! Only one person has to get hurt Brian.

Peter

You didn't go to work today, did you?

Lois

Alright, but I'll be back in a moment as another movie thing.

Peter

Precious! Wants precious rope!

Peter

That's stupid! I want it.

Peter

What's the name? "Dick?" "Dick" would slide right into that "Glory" hole!

Brian

What! You can't just shove "Shaft" in the "Glory" hole!

Peter

What's gonna fill the "Glory" hole?

Peter

I was wrong to chose sexiness over my wife.

Peter

Mr. Giraffe who lets little boys grind on his rump. Or Mr. Octopus who, who let's little boys grind on his rump.

Peter

Lois: I don't even know what this is anymore!
Peter: It's a strip club that gives away free cookies.

She just wrote "vagina" on her boobs! That doesn't even make any sense!

Peter
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 1951 in total

Family Guy Quotes

North Dakota, we're not even the best Dakota!

Peter

Four years later me and Lois divorced and Stewie died. Gobble gobble.

Peter