Family Guy

Family Guy Quotes (Page 3)

Episode 5: "Back to the Pilot"

Lois: "Well, laundrium insertum!"
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 4: "Stewie Goes for a Drive"

Ryan Reynolds: Like my spirit could go up inside your energy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 3: "Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q"

Peter: Eddie Izard would be very discreet.
Quagmire: Well, there's your answer.

 • Rating: Unrated

Joe: Oh my god, he must have hung himself during auto-erotic asphyxiation!
Peter: While watching clown porn!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lois:Oh my god, not that guy. Isn't he the one that beats her?
Peter: Yea, but she's gotten a LOT better.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 2: "Seahorse Seashell Party"

Stewie: Omg, everyone's already tweeting "Stewie Just Said That."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brian: Lesbians and deaf women wear the same clothes.

 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 1: "Lottery Fever"

Stewie: You know I'm still young enough that you can drop me off at the fire station, no questions asked.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: What do you mean I'm broke? What about all that money I sent to the Gayman Islands? They did what with it? No I don't want it back!
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Stewie: Yes, it's nice to eat in a sea of white faces, isn't it?
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: Is it a blood diamond?
Peter: Only the bloodiest.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stewie: Yeah, I had a giant mobile put in the sky so I can sleep wherever I want.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Well, sorry doesn't show me nipples worth seeing!
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: No! Anna Paquin boob does not count as real boob! That's like looking at a 12-year-old boy.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Peter: I just bought a giant room full of gold coins that I'm going to dive into like Scrooge McDuck.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: You want to have it down at the bank where the Jewish guys can leer at it?
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Peter: We won! I'm getting a penis butler!
 • Rating: 4.2 / 5.0

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