Family Guy

Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX
Family guy
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"I tried the online dating thing but there's too much competition out there."

Brain

"What if Bono had been too afraid to wear sunglasses…then nobody would know about Africa!"

Peter Griffin

"Quagmire who? That's an excellent question."

Homer

"My dad gave me a gun to hide."

Meg

"No one ever told me I mattered before."

Meg

"You bring home two bands of hippie murderers…"

Homer

"I cut your name into my arm so I can always remember you."

Meg

"I used to love Duff when I was younger, but I haven't even had it in like 13 years."

Peter

Brian: Peter, what are you doing?
Peter: Playing Unga Bunga. It's the championship.
Stewie: Go away! This is why Zillow estimates our house at $4.

I'm glad we're staying together. Honestly, I don't know what I would do on my own. Like, I literally have no idea where food comes from. Is it that guy? Is he the food man?

Peter

Sir, I heard whimpering. Shall I fetch your crying tuxedo?

Butler

Oh, it's starting! I'm gonna live-tweet the show and ruin it for everyone in other time zones.

Stewie
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 1919 in total

Family Guy Quotes

North Dakota, we're not even the best Dakota!

Peter

"That's cray cray in a good way, right there."

Cleveland Brown
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