Family Guy Quotes
Peter: Well, I am off to try and get out of this conversation!
Lois: Peter, what did you do?
Peter: He was slightly inconveniencing me and Joe, so we threatened to destroy his family.
Peter: No, you're not supposed to hit it into the water.
Lois: But you hit it into the water.
Peter: I know I hit it into the water.
Lois: But why do they have water if you're not supposed to hit it there.
Peter: Because it's fun! We're having fun!
Shhh! The green shirt went by again! If it goes around 30 times in 5 minutes, you get to have a diet coke!Lois
Peter: Alright, lets dope her up good -- get that mouth off her.
Cleveland: No Peter! The problem is you!
The new maid is peeing on me, and she didn't even say anything clever!Stewie
Whew, I was damn near out of tweed.Cleveland
I'm an idiot? All anyone remembers from your argument is that you're in a wheelchair!Quagmire
Quagmire: Is your baby pregnant?
Peter: I dunno, Lois is in charge of the kids.
I feel like once I get them on a schedule, every thing will be fine!Stewie
Brian: This one's bones feel all loose.
Stewie: I think this one's blind.
Jeez, that word looks a lot harsher when it's in all caps.Quagmire
I caught two of them trying to eat each other, so that's something we need to watch out for.Stewie