Family Guy

Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX
Family guy
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Oh! There's a head in the freezer! Ooooh and sherbet!


It's probably nothing, but there's a stain on the rug in the shape of a little kid.


Never judge a book by it's cover, or a movie.


Peter: Now Quagmire, when you introduce us to the ladies by the pool, I'm a millionaire, Joe's a war hero, and Quagmire's Magic Johnson.
Cleveland: I own a lot of theaters, I hope you don't know much else about me.

Guys, I gotta leave. I got a nosebleed, and I don't work here.


The ceiling is a pool! The ceiling is a pool! Quagmire you gotta get this!


Cleveland: It's sad when planes 'splode.
Quagmire: What? Yeah I guess.

Brian: Hey did I tell you about Kim in marketing?
Boss: You mean my wife Kim?
Brian: I'm gonna go sell that condo!

But now that you mention it, your face looks like a used condom.


Brian, we can try to help you feel a little less repulsive. But we're not spending human money on a deformed animal!


My god! You look like one of those animals.


The stupidest thing I've ever done is turn the bubbles off in a hot tub.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 1951 in total

Family Guy Quotes

North Dakota, we're not even the best Dakota!


Four years later me and Lois divorced and Stewie died. Gobble gobble.