Family Guy Quotes
Glenn Close: Fart.
Brian: Uh..did you say, "fart?"
Glenn Close: Yes. That's me being rather silly.
Stewie: I want you to come inside me while I'm asleep.
Brian: No, don't say it like that.
This isn't a job for the meek, Brian. When you get in there -- you got to be hard.Stewie
I brought construction paper and markers in case you guys wanted to draw breasts.Joe
Peter, we have a hamper. Stop throwing your dirty clothes in the toilet.Lois
Couch 1: I just had sex with a girl on her period.
Couch 2: Dude, that's not a brag.
I might need two weeks off from this friendship.Quagmire
Don't you understand what drinking means to us workin' stiffs? It helps us forget about our day and tell our children we love them with a straight face.Peter
We want that drinkin' law gone, and everybody knows the best way to get any law struck down is to get the gays angry about it.Peter
I'm not the smartest man in the world, but I can always look back on my life and say I went for it.Peter
Yeah. Now I'm gonna stick my raw pasta in ya.Peter
Sitting here all sober is more boring than watching a pot boil.Peter