Oh yeah 'cause you know him so well, shut your faaaaaace.


Brian: Well I don't know if I'd label myself a drinker. I know I like a cold beer after I mow the lawn.
Peter: There were three lies in that sentence.

Peter: I missed you Brian.
Brian: I missed you too Peter.
Peter: And now Im gonna go upstairs and pee in Meg's bed.
Brian: No, we're going to go pee in Meg's bed.
Peter: Good boy.

Oh god how do you get pink-eye? This is got to be it!


He's my friend, I miss him.


You go ahead, I have to make the waffle fries you scream-requested in the car.


Brian: Permission to take fast tiny bites at my own tail, sir?
Peter: Go ahead.

Home-Ec just got out, and I'm gonna go lick all their bowls.


It enhances my life to know how your life is going!


How are we going to catch Abu Nasir!?


Peter: Well, I am off to try and get out of this conversation!
Lois: Peter, what did you do?
Peter: He was slightly inconveniencing me and Joe, so we threatened to destroy his family.

Peter: No, you're not supposed to hit it into the water.
Lois: But you hit it into the water.
Peter: I know I hit it into the water.
Lois: But why do they have water if you're not supposed to hit it there.
Peter: Because it's fun! We're having fun!

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife has been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?

Wilford Brimley