Family Guy Season 1 Episode 1: "Death Has a Shadow" Quotes
Voiceover on TV: The Statue Of Liberty was a gift from France...
Guy: The Statue Of Liberty!?
Peter: Oh my kid must of taped over this for history class. Boys, boys! We're going to drink till she's hot.
Quagmire: Hey, thats just crazy enough to work
- Permalink: The Statue Of Liberty was a gift from France... The Statue Of ...
Mr. Weed: Peter! Are you sleeping on the job?
Peter: Uh uh...no!! There's uh...a...bug in my eye and I'm trying to suffocate him
- Permalink: Peter! Are you sleeping on the job? Uh uh...no!! There's uh......
Guys, our money problems are over; we are officially on welfare! Come on kids, help me scatter car parts on the front lawnPeter
- Permalink: Guys, our money problems are over; we are officially on welfare!...
Stewie: Well, well mother, we meet again.
Lois: Stewie, I thought I tucked you in an hour ago.
Stewie: Not tightly enough it would seem, and now you contemptible harpy, I shall end your oppressive reign of matriarchal tyranny!
- Permalink: Well, well mother, we meet again. Stewie, I thought I tucked y...
Lois: When you were born the doctor said you were the happiest looking baby he'd ever seen.
Stewie: But, of course. That was my victory day. The fruition of my deeply-laid plans to escape from that cursed ovarian bastille!
- Permalink: When you were born the doctor said you were the happiest looking...
Meg: Mom, can I turn the heat up?
Lois: Don't touch the thermostat, Meg. Your father gets upset.
Meg: Come on. This thing goes up to 90.
[Meg adjusts it a little, and Peter suddenly comes into the room]
Peter: Who touched the thermostat?
Meg: God, how does he always know?
Peter: Brain implant, Meg. Every father's got one. Tells you when the kids mess with the dial.
Guy: My thing went off! Your thermostat okay?
- Permalink: Mom, can I turn the heat up? Don't touch the thermostat, Meg. ...
Brian: Amazing, you can barely drive a car, and yet you are allowed to fly a blimp?
Peter: Yeah, America's great, except for the south
- Permalink: Amazing, you can barely drive a car, and yet you are allowed to ...
Quagmire: Hey Peter, you want to play "drink the beer"?
Peter: Sure. (takes drink of beer)
Quagmire: You win!
Peter: What do I win?
Quagmire: Another beer!
Peter: Oh man, I'm going for the high score!
Quagmire: Actually, Charlie has the high score.
Charlie [peeing in grandfather clock]: Hey man, your clock won't flush
- Permalink: Hey Peter, you want to play drink the beer? Sure. (takes drink...
Peter: Not a word to your mother about my getting canned.
Peter: Nothing. Ooh, the lost-my-job smells great!
Lois: Excuse me?
Peter: Uh...Meg, honey, could you please pass the fired-my-ass-for-negligence?
Lois: Peter, are you feeling okay?
Peter: What are you talking about, Lois? I feel great. I haven't got a job in the world
- Permalink: Not a word to your mother about my getting canned. What? Not...