Family Guy

Family Guy "The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou" Quotes

Peter: Hey Fulcher!
Fulcher: Griffin?
Peter: The feeling's mutual.
Fulcher: What are you doing here?
Peter: I'm here to kick your ass, Fulcher. I'm gonna beat ya, and then my son Chris is gonna beat ya. It's gonna be an old fashion father-son beat-off.
Chris: Wait a minute dad, you can't hit him.
Fulcher: Yeah, I have MS.
Peter: Oh, ya hear that Chris? This guy's got a monkey scrotum and he's braggin' about it. Now ya really got me mad.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Brian is taking the trash out, and hears music)
Brian: Stewie, what are you doing?
Stewie: Just gettin' my bronze on baby. Hey, what do you think of my recumbent tan pose? Huh, legs probably spread a little wider than they ought to be, but who gives a damn. This is just tan Stewie being tan Stewie. Check me out Brian.
(Stewie grabs a Tab soda from a cooler and drinks it so the label is showing, then turns to the camera and smiles)
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Herbert: Boys, Boys. We can settle this like reasonable and sexy teenagers. Whoever can swallow the most Tylenol PM wins.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: It's Cleveland I'm worried about.
Cleveland: (wearing a President Nixon mask) Peter, is this really necessary? I can't hardly see anything.
Golfers: Hey, look, it's President Nixon! (Cleveland takes off mask) No, wait, it's a black guy! (Cleveland puts mask back on) No, it's Nixon.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Joe: Hey, do you think it's time to talk to Quagmire about his anger issues with this game?
Cleveland: A white man shouldn't play sports in the first place.
 • Rating: Unrated

Herbert: What's going on in my pants? Looks like we got six more weeks of winter.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: I'll do it Lois. Right after a healthy breakfast of juice, toast, and store brand imitation frosted flakes featuring Terry the Tiger.
Terry the Tiger: They'reeeee... food!
 • Rating: Unrated

(Old guy staring at a midget)
Midget: Sir, would you please stop staring at me?
Old Guy: Where's the rest of ya?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: (in tree) Well, maybe you should have just had an abortion, Lois! Would that make you happy if I was never born?
Lois: What?
Peter: I'm going to prison, aren't I?
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: You got Legos? Aw, sweet! Lois only buys me Mega Bloks.
Lois: They're the same thing, Peter.
Peter: You know what, Lois? They are not the same thing. And the sooner you get that through your thick skull, the sooner we can get this marriage back on track.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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