(After Joe drives his ball onto the green) Peter: Hey Joe... Joe: Don't say it Peter. Peter: No. I was just wondering... Joe: Peter, I swear to God! Peter: What's your handicap? Joe: (yells while laughing) Every hole! That's a joke that doesn't get old!


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Family Guy Season 5 Episode 11 Quotes

(Brian is taking the trash out, and hears music)
Brian: Stewie, what are you doing?
Stewie: Just gettin' my bronze on baby. Hey, what do you think of my recumbent tan pose? Huh, legs probably spread a little wider than they ought to be, but who gives a damn. This is just tan Stewie being tan Stewie. Check me out Brian.
(Stewie grabs a Tab soda from a cooler and drinks it so the label is showing, then turns to the camera and smiles)

Peter: You got Legos? Aw, sweet! Lois only buys me Mega Bloks.
Lois: They're the same thing, Peter.
Peter: You know what, Lois? They are not the same thing. And the sooner you get that through your thick skull, the sooner we can get this marriage back on track.